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Thoughts of hurting/depression

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Notdaniel posted 11/16/2013 20:02 PM

The nights have been really bad for my BS. Last night was the worst by far in that she had me hide the razors because she became consummed with the anger and anxiety as well as depression that she thought cutting would help. I did hide but I am not sure what to do next to help her. She is angry and anxious that I will leave her. I can't reassure her enough. I will try to mention IC for her as well but i am scared. I so want her pain to be mine so that she can be free.

She spent today in bed but is up now talking to son. I am giving her space and just periodically looking in on her.


I was so selfish I pray for her.

Aubrie posted 11/16/2013 20:38 PM

Would she be open to seeing a physician? They can prescribe her something for the anxiety/depression. And of course IC would be very helpful for her.

Is she a member here? If she's not, maybe show this place to her. It may help her to know that she's not alone, that there are other people that have walked the path she's on, and they can support her thru this mess.

Notdaniel posted 11/16/2013 21:22 PM

Is she a member here? If she's not, maybe show this place to her. It may help her to know that she's not alone, that there are other people that have walked the path she's on, and they can support her thru this mess.

I did mention this site to her. She does have some people she confided in and she is already on medication for depression. I appreciate the response.

She is strong but I really hurt her.

LosferWords posted 11/16/2013 21:42 PM

I think IC would be a good suggestion. You might get some resistance from her, so tread gently and compassionately. I needed some gentle nudging from my wife to get some of the help that I needed.

Was she on medication prior to d-day? If so, she may need to see her doc and have her prescription adjusted/modified to accommodate for the new trauma/hurt that she is feeling.

Keeping you, your wife, and your kiddo in my thoughts. Best of luck, and keep watching out for her.

Take care.

Jrazz posted 11/16/2013 21:43 PM

I so want her pain to be mine so that she can be free.

I understand where this is coming from , but self-flagellation is a road you don't want to go down either. The goal has to be for your family to work towards healthy and whole - together.

The fact that she is entertaining the thought of cutting means she may need clinical intervention. Why are you scared to help her find a therapist or doctor? Whatever your reason, if you can steel yourself to guide her towards getting help with this you will be guiding her down the most effective path to alleviating her pain.

Big hugs to all of you. Take small but positive steps every day.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 9:43 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]

harrypotter posted 11/17/2013 04:19 AM

Notdaniel,

Just some personal experience that goes with what Jrazz said above. You are going to feel bad and want to take away the pain but "self-flagellation" is only good to a point. I personally took it to a very bad place for a couple of weeks that had me thinking about how things might be better if I wasn't around. But that's actually even more selfish and a ton of other wrongs. So I got through it and no longer have these thoughts but I can tell you that being careful how much you beat yourself up " I know it's hard not to!" is good advice. Not saying you will go where I did but please be aware it can happen. Praying for you and your wife.

Notdaniel posted 11/18/2013 20:49 PM

Thanks for the words from everyone. Thank you for the prayers. Each day at a time...

Jrazz posted 11/19/2013 12:02 PM

I'm glad you checked in, Nd. How are things today? Do you feel like you might be able to talk to her about the benefits of getting her to a therapist or doctor?

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