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Sam793 posted 11/16/2013 20:05 PM

Why do I always feel like I'm back to square one? I try to do what I think is right and when I get ahead I mess something up. Today my BW took our DD to gymnastics. I was home with our DS. When I put him down for his morning nap instead of doing things around the house I had an hour long nap. I got up and tried to do things but accomplished minimal before she got home. That set the tone for the day. I had to go out for a few hours and when I came back my patience was not at its peak level and I didn't respect my BWs emotional state. I really dropped the ball today. I wish I could have a do over but of course that won't happen. My biggest hurdle is getting past thinking that any help I try to give my BW is not acceptable. I want to move ahead but feel like I'm falling back. Help.

[This message edited by Sam793 at 8:24 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]

HardenMyHeart posted 11/16/2013 20:19 PM

Suggest you read the following book:
The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever by Scott Haltzman

UnexpectedSong posted 11/17/2013 16:39 PM

I had to go out for a few hours and when I came back my patience was not at its peak level

Why? What happened while you were out?

My biggest hurdle is getting past thinking that any help I try to give my BW is not acceptable.

Why are you helping your BW? Why are you working on yourself and/or your marriage?

I'm not being snarky. I'm curious.

If you are working only for your BW, then you will fail. No one can do everything for someone else all the time. One little bobble, and you will resent her and the dam will break.

You have to do it for yourself. Get healthy for yourself. No matter how she perceives it, no matter if she appreciates it, whether or not your M survives. Only then will your results be real.

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