I had to go out for a few hours and when I came back my patience was not at its peak level
Why? What happened while you were out?
My biggest hurdle is getting past thinking that any help I try to give my BW is not acceptable.
Why are you helping your BW? Why are you working on yourself and/or your marriage?
I'm not being snarky. I'm curious.
If you are working only for your BW, then you will fail. No one can do everything for someone else all the time. One little bobble, and you will resent her and the dam will break.
You have to do it for yourself. Get healthy for yourself. No matter how she perceives it, no matter if she appreciates it, whether or not your M survives. Only then will your results be real.