SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I know I should see a lawyer for legal advice about this but I need your suggestions on what I can ask for in the separation agreement.

Here's our case:

Married for 5 years with 1 kid (2 yrs) ; 2 dogs; property under my name is currently on short sale ( in FL), he is an active duty military so both mine and our son's insurance is under his; we are renting a house in our current state (VA) and lease will be ending in feb 2014; we are required to be separated for at least a yr before we can file for divorce ( in our state); no property owned together; both our financed cars are under my name; he will soon go back to deployment this January and to be with his b!tch again while me and my son and MY dogs are moving to a different state in February. Once our separation term is over then I file of divorce in the state of VA.

Any suggestions? Besides the basic child support, full custody, health insurance, alimony, etc?

Any input will be appreciated...

~Think about how to split any debt.

~Think long term about your future on health insurance, school (for you…?), what financial support you may need for your child. i.e….school supplies, clothing, hair cuts, birthday parties, sports fees, medical copays.

~Do you qualify for his retirement?

~ Be very specific in your custody arrangement, you can see on the SI boards about people who live states apart, and the problems that arise.

~If he is agreeing to everything, you can mediate the D (and hire an attorney to simply review your separation agreement/divorce decree) then file pro se to save money. I'm also in VA, and that is what we did, we did the separation agreement with a mediator, then I have an attorney to review the paperwork. I will have her file for me, I'm not willing to file pro se because I don't want any errors accidentally made that might come back and bite me. BUT, we had many more "issues" with custody/finances/future problems.

~Remember to think long term, I really think that is the most important. Look at your budget and future budget to make sure you can survive on what you are agreeing too.

During the separation think about what you will need-- financially speaking. Is he going to be paying half of housing costs for you and your son? Do you work or are you a SAHM?

Is he going to keep paying for the cars too?

Write up your monthly budget-- everything from rent to utilities, down to new socks and toilet paper. (Dog food!). Submit your budget asking for the percentage your need-- in my case he was expected to keep paying a portion of all house bills, groceries, utilities, etc because I was working part time.

Separation is supposed to be short term, but think long term.