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User Topic: How long have you gone without love making?
BrighterFuture
♀ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 3:45 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me it's been 9 months. Though there's a little longing sometimes, I'm willing to stay this way until someone special comes along.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 360 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Vulcanized
♀ 33523
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:56 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 years, 6 months, 18 days.

Not that I'm acutely aware that I need some tail ...


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 784 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
debbysbaby
♀ 32962
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3 years and 9 months. I have only had sex about half a dozen times since my marriage ended 8.5 years ago. I regret most of those. I really don't miss it, which is weird since I always had a very healthy sex drive. My ex had very deviant sexual desires however and I felt so objectified (never loved) so it really harmed my sexual appetite spending almost 15 years like that.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 887 | Registered: Aug 2011
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About 15 months after we separated, I was in no shape to date and I knew it. Then I dated. Now, back "on the bus" (See New Beginnings…) for about a year.

We discuss down in NB's (for the womenz at least….) that our bodies adjust. I say that my body goes into hibernation when I'm not sexually active. Then when I do meet someone and want to be sexual, it roars back to life


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Thefly559
♂ 40268
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With another person? Lol. So far 7 months used to not be 7 days. The first few were tough. Now it's cool. Emotionally I am still screwed up. Same person since childhood 19 years. How she did it so easy I hate. The fact that I am a guy and it bothers me I hate. But I am closer than I was 6 months ago.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 736 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
courageous
♀ 34477
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sex... 2 years. Making love? 7 years. Ever since my exwh started forcing me to have sex with him the love was gone


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 669 | Registered: Jan 2012
IrishLass518
♀ 34373
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since Memorial day weekend 2011. I am not the type to just go get some for the sake of getting some and I just haven't met anyone who I want to risk doing the whole relationship thing with again. I miss it but not enough to make any changes at this point.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1815 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's a thread down in New Beginnings about the 'bus'...I've been riding the bus for nearly two years now. Sigh.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4819 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
BrighterFuture
♀ 38914
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, kudos to all of you for staying this long. It a sign of maturity not to have sex just because your body wants it. Controlling our actions and desire is part of the healing process.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 360 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Whalers11
♀ 27544
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Longest stretch was... years. Plural.

At the rate I'm going, I may end up going for a new personal record....


Me: BGF - 33

I gave you more than I ever got back
You left me here to forget about that
All the things you thought you had have gone
Let that be a lesson to you
-Richie Kotzen, "Special"


Posts: 2325 | Registered: Feb 2010
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Years. Longer, if the term "lovemaking" means anything more than sex.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9142 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
endlessabsurdity
40249
Member # 40249
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure how long, but I'm fairly certain it has been at least one year. It contributes to the debilitating feeling of loneliness sometimes, but at least I don't have to deal with having a woman around that I love intensely but will not have sex with me. That was torture.

[This message edited by endlessabsurdity at 1:47 PM, November 17th (Sunday)]


Posts: 80 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: United States
Gemini71
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ever since D-Day, so I'm going on four months. Not that long I guess.

I'm sure it was just 'sex' for STBXH for a long time, but for me it was lovemaking. I now accept that my experience of our marriage is much different than his.

I'm Divorcing the cheating prick, so I bought a battery operated one.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
aLadypilot
♀ 1822
Member # 1822
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went over 5 years.


Divorced 9/2010
Just married 7/4/13

Posts: 4085 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Twin Cities
h0peless
♂ 36697
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty sure my sperm have fossilized.

ETA: a picture!!!!!

[This message edited by h0peless at 10:16 PM, November 17th (Sunday)]


Posts: 1850 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
NotGonnaTakeIt
♀ 35875
Member # 35875
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly and this is embarrassing to say, it has been so long that I am not even sure. At least 8-9 years.

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jun 2012
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love making ~ many years. Sex ~ a month before stbx walked out so as of this month, 14 months.

I am not even close to being ready to date or even be friends with other men so I take care of my own needs I think I miss the intimacy more than sex though. My stbx is the only person I ever had sex with so I don't even know where to begin or look or learn or anything which is why I am soooo not even close to being ready to even meet other men.

@ h0peless: That is so friken hilarious!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2334 | Registered: Oct 2012
stronger08
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 2:44 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can tell you this. I can do years standing on my head. I purposely took a year off from everything. No dating, sex, relationships. After that it was close to another year before I had sex again because I could not get a date to save my life. And to be honest if it meant having to go through this shit ever again, I could honestly say I'd stay celibate.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5905 | Registered: Nov 2007
Griefstricken25
♀ 29183
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I last had sex about 4.5 years ago, just before d-day. Love-making? I don't even know. Maybe 8-10 years ago??

I'm a "sex only within marriage" kind of gal, so I'm in this for the long haul.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2529 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Lola2kids
♀ 32789
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, November 18th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Almost 2 1/2 years without sex.
He was the only one.
I have never had lovemaking since he told me that he fell in love for the first time when he re-met MOW.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 12:20 PM, November 18th (Monday)]


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1478 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 33
Pages: 1 · 2

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