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How long have you gone without love making?

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BrighterFuture posted 11/17/2013 03:45 AM

For me it's been 9 months. Though there's a little longing sometimes, I'm willing to stay this way until someone special comes along.

Vulcanized posted 11/17/2013 03:56 AM

2 years, 6 months, 18 days.

Not that I'm acutely aware that I need some tail ...

debbysbaby posted 11/17/2013 07:15 AM

3 years and 9 months. I have only had sex about half a dozen times since my marriage ended 8.5 years ago. I regret most of those. I really don't miss it, which is weird since I always had a very healthy sex drive. My ex had very deviant sexual desires however and I felt so objectified (never loved) so it really harmed my sexual appetite spending almost 15 years like that.

cmego posted 11/17/2013 07:17 AM

About 15 months after we separated, I was in no shape to date and I knew it. Then I dated. Now, back "on the bus" (See New Beginnings…) for about a year.

We discuss down in NB's (for the womenz at least….) that our bodies adjust. I say that my body goes into hibernation when I'm not sexually active. Then when I do meet someone and want to be sexual, it roars back to life

Thefly559 posted 11/17/2013 08:01 AM

With another person? Lol. So far 7 months used to not be 7 days. The first few were tough. Now it's cool. Emotionally I am still screwed up. Same person since childhood 19 years. How she did it so easy I hate. The fact that I am a guy and it bothers me I hate. But I am closer than I was 6 months ago.

courageous posted 11/17/2013 08:04 AM

Sex... 2 years. Making love? 7 years. Ever since my exwh started forcing me to have sex with him the love was gone

IrishLass518 posted 11/17/2013 09:06 AM

Since Memorial day weekend 2011. I am not the type to just go get some for the sake of getting some and I just haven't met anyone who I want to risk doing the whole relationship thing with again. I miss it but not enough to make any changes at this point.

tesla posted 11/17/2013 10:16 AM

There's a thread down in New Beginnings about the 'bus'...I've been riding the bus for nearly two years now. Sigh.

BrighterFuture posted 11/17/2013 10:23 AM

Wow, kudos to all of you for staying this long. It a sign of maturity not to have sex just because your body wants it. Controlling our actions and desire is part of the healing process.

Whalers11 posted 11/17/2013 10:44 AM

Longest stretch was... years. Plural.

At the rate I'm going, I may end up going for a new personal record....

solus sto posted 11/17/2013 11:33 AM

Years. Longer, if the term "lovemaking" means anything more than sex.

endlessabsurdity posted 11/17/2013 13:46 PM

I'm not sure how long, but I'm fairly certain it has been at least one year. It contributes to the debilitating feeling of loneliness sometimes, but at least I don't have to deal with having a woman around that I love intensely but will not have sex with me. That was torture.

[This message edited by endlessabsurdity at 1:47 PM, November 17th (Sunday)]

Gemini71 posted 11/17/2013 14:33 PM

Ever since D-Day, so I'm going on four months. Not that long I guess.

I'm sure it was just 'sex' for STBXH for a long time, but for me it was lovemaking. I now accept that my experience of our marriage is much different than his.

I'm Divorcing the cheating prick, so I bought a battery operated one.

aLadypilot posted 11/17/2013 19:39 PM

I went over 5 years.

h0peless posted 11/17/2013 22:04 PM

I'm pretty sure my sperm have fossilized.

ETA: a picture!!!!!

[This message edited by h0peless at 10:16 PM, November 17th (Sunday)]

NotGonnaTakeIt posted 11/17/2013 22:22 PM

Honestly and this is embarrassing to say, it has been so long that I am not even sure. At least 8-9 years.

dmari posted 11/18/2013 01:51 AM

Love making ~ many years. Sex ~ a month before stbx walked out so as of this month, 14 months.

I am not even close to being ready to date or even be friends with other men so I take care of my own needs I think I miss the intimacy more than sex though. My stbx is the only person I ever had sex with so I don't even know where to begin or look or learn or anything which is why I am soooo not even close to being ready to even meet other men.

@ h0peless: That is so friken hilarious!!

stronger08 posted 11/18/2013 02:44 AM

I can tell you this. I can do years standing on my head. I purposely took a year off from everything. No dating, sex, relationships. After that it was close to another year before I had sex again because I could not get a date to save my life. And to be honest if it meant having to go through this shit ever again, I could honestly say I'd stay celibate.

Griefstricken25 posted 11/18/2013 09:29 AM

I last had sex about 4.5 years ago, just before d-day. Love-making? I don't even know. Maybe 8-10 years ago??

I'm a "sex only within marriage" kind of gal, so I'm in this for the long haul.

Lola2kids posted 11/18/2013 12:18 PM

Almost 2 1/2 years without sex.
He was the only one.
I have never had lovemaking since he told me that he fell in love for the first time when he re-met MOW.

[This message edited by Lola2kids at 12:20 PM, November 18th (Monday)]

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