This Topic is Archived
bluelady (original poster member #11061) posted at 8:16 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
SO and I went and talked to the bank last week about getting a mortgage. Nobody told me how nerve-wracking it is to have someone pick apart your credit rating line by line! But, the mortgage guy was really very nice, told us that our credit wasn't that bad, explained to us how to make it better (really, there isn't much we can do considering the bulk of our debt is in student loans) and told me not to worry about the blips in mine (thank you, divorce!). Then, he as close to guaranteed us a sizable mortgage as he could without sending it away for approval.
So, this weekend we looked around and this afternoon we drove by a few places. The houses we looked at that were significantly under-budget were fine. Nothing special. Then we drove by the ones we really liked online, which were closer to what we were looking to spend.
I think SO's exact words were "This neighbourhood intimidates me". Seriously nice.
Neither of us have ever owned before but considering that we're in our mid-thirties, we aren't looking for a starter home. At the same time, though, we still kinda feel...too young, maybe, to be buying homes that nice.
My friend told me this afternoon that we need to realize that SO and I are both professionals, with good jobs, and that there is no reason why we couldn't buy a house like that.
I'm scared
meaniemouse ( member #10798) posted at 8:50 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
But is the good kind of scared--right?
Congratulations! There's just something wonderful and grown-up about buying a house, putting down roots, all that stuff--the American dream---you know??
How exciting!!
Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James
fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 9:21 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
Congratulations! When you walk into the house that's right for you, you will just know.
Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.
Blackhair ( member #39451) posted at 11:13 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013
Great to take the big step and owing your own home, enjoy the life of NB!
M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 12:36 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013
I was scared too. But it wore off!
Take your time and find the house that is the best fit for you both! And, have fun!! And you are not too young.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
wontdefineme ( member #31421) posted at 3:07 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013
What are the legal ramifications if you and SO are not married? What happened if the relationship went south, who keeps house and can you afford it on your own? Sorry to not be as happy for you, but after divorce and reading all the stories here about people who aren't married and end up in houses they can't afford or other problems.
Can there be a legal document drawn up prior to mortgage spelling out exactly what happens. Treat it like a business decision to protect each other against life's curve balls.
Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 3:39 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013
Oh, bluelady, I think I'm gonna be a first-time housebuyer in the next year to year and a half, too, so I will be following your search with interest. Please keep us apprised!
stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 3:50 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013
Don't be afraid to look closely at the homes that are under your budget. Sometimes a place only needs a few coats of paint and a Kitchen/Bathroom remodel to look fantastic. I found that when you look at pristine homes, you also have to pay a pristine price. But a dingy looking place could be rehabbed for a lot less then paying for a premium home. People make the mistake of buying homes with their eyes instead of their brain. Any house that is structurally sound can be made into a palace. And for a lot less then buying a premium place. I have a place I bought last year, if you looked at it before my renovation you would have laughed at the condition. But I purchased it on the cheap and even with the cost of renovations I'm already 30K ahead in equity. I posted a link in this forum last week if you want to take a look. Think what it could look like vs. what it does look like. That could save you tens of thousands in the long run. Good luck and congrats.
You cant eat soup with chopsticks.
Eranda ( member #6010) posted at 1:44 AM on Tuesday, November 26th, 2013
I don't want to be the wet blanket here, but think VERY CAREFULLY before you buy a house with someone you're not married to. And then think again. And then think a third time.
I know that right now you don't anticipate anything going wrong, but things can go wrong- and if you're a co-owner and not married- it can affect you very badly and you would have very little legal recourse.
Personally, I would never even consider buying a house with someone I wasn't married to. At the very least, do not buy any house that either one of you can't afford on your own, separately. It's very important that you think rationally and make wise decisions going in, or you could end up on the street or bankrupt. Please be very VERY careful here.
My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/
This Topic is Archived