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Newest Member: 321maison

New Beginnings :
We're gonna buy a house!

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 bluelady (original poster member #11061) posted at 8:16 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013

SO and I went and talked to the bank last week about getting a mortgage. Nobody told me how nerve-wracking it is to have someone pick apart your credit rating line by line! But, the mortgage guy was really very nice, told us that our credit wasn't that bad, explained to us how to make it better (really, there isn't much we can do considering the bulk of our debt is in student loans) and told me not to worry about the blips in mine (thank you, divorce!). Then, he as close to guaranteed us a sizable mortgage as he could without sending it away for approval.

So, this weekend we looked around and this afternoon we drove by a few places. The houses we looked at that were significantly under-budget were fine. Nothing special. Then we drove by the ones we really liked online, which were closer to what we were looking to spend. I think SO's exact words were "This neighbourhood intimidates me". Seriously nice.

Neither of us have ever owned before but considering that we're in our mid-thirties, we aren't looking for a starter home. At the same time, though, we still kinda feel...too young, maybe, to be buying homes that nice.

My friend told me this afternoon that we need to realize that SO and I are both professionals, with good jobs, and that there is no reason why we couldn't buy a house like that.

I'm scared

Me (BS): 35

Divorced

posts: 1501   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2006   ·   location: a little bit of everywhere
id 6565140
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meaniemouse ( member #10798) posted at 8:50 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013

But is the good kind of scared--right?

Congratulations! There's just something wonderful and grown-up about buying a house, putting down roots, all that stuff--the American dream---you know??

How exciting!!

Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

posts: 2278   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2006   ·   location: Midwest
id 6565166
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fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 9:21 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013

Congratulations! When you walk into the house that's right for you, you will just know.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

posts: 1334   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6565192
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Blackhair ( member #39451) posted at 11:13 PM on Sunday, November 17th, 2013

Great to take the big step and owing your own home, enjoy the life of NB!

M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 5th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6565282
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 12:36 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

I was scared too. But it wore off!

Take your time and find the house that is the best fit for you both! And, have fun!! And you are not too young.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6565348
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wontdefineme ( member #31421) posted at 3:07 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

What are the legal ramifications if you and SO are not married? What happened if the relationship went south, who keeps house and can you afford it on your own? Sorry to not be as happy for you, but after divorce and reading all the stories here about people who aren't married and end up in houses they can't afford or other problems.

Can there be a legal document drawn up prior to mortgage spelling out exactly what happens. Treat it like a business decision to protect each other against life's curve balls.

posts: 2328   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2011
id 6573018
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Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 3:39 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

Oh, bluelady, I think I'm gonna be a first-time housebuyer in the next year to year and a half, too, so I will be following your search with interest. Please keep us apprised!

Me: BS, 40's.

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: West Coast
id 6573045
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stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 3:50 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

Don't be afraid to look closely at the homes that are under your budget. Sometimes a place only needs a few coats of paint and a Kitchen/Bathroom remodel to look fantastic. I found that when you look at pristine homes, you also have to pay a pristine price. But a dingy looking place could be rehabbed for a lot less then paying for a premium home. People make the mistake of buying homes with their eyes instead of their brain. Any house that is structurally sound can be made into a palace. And for a lot less then buying a premium place. I have a place I bought last year, if you looked at it before my renovation you would have laughed at the condition. But I purchased it on the cheap and even with the cost of renovations I'm already 30K ahead in equity. I posted a link in this forum last week if you want to take a look. Think what it could look like vs. what it does look like. That could save you tens of thousands in the long run. Good luck and congrats.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

posts: 6851   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007
id 6573054
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Eranda ( member #6010) posted at 1:44 AM on Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

I don't want to be the wet blanket here, but think VERY CAREFULLY before you buy a house with someone you're not married to. And then think again. And then think a third time.

I know that right now you don't anticipate anything going wrong, but things can go wrong- and if you're a co-owner and not married- it can affect you very badly and you would have very little legal recourse.

Personally, I would never even consider buying a house with someone I wasn't married to. At the very least, do not buy any house that either one of you can't afford on your own, separately. It's very important that you think rationally and make wise decisions going in, or you could end up on the street or bankrupt. Please be very VERY careful here.

My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

posts: 4254   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2004   ·   location: eastern PA
id 6574654
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