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Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

User Topic: When you feel like giving up...
Angel177
♀ 37274
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What makes you keep working at it?


Me:BS
Him:WH
D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
Daughter-3
Son-13 months (died July 2, 2014)
Baby #3 due Feb. 2015
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"

Posts: 252 | Registered: Oct 2012
pointofnoreturn
♀ 41034
Member # 41034
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nearly everyone in his life has abandoned him or they are distant. I don't want to contribute to that list.


Me- WGF 22
Him- BBF 21
Ddays:
August 2011
September 26th, 2013

"A lesson is learned. Life is. Simply. There is no Death. There is no Before. There is no After. All is in Flux. Simply."


Posts: 187 | Registered: Oct 2013
Chippednotbroken
♀ 40170
Member # 40170
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good question.


Me 33 (former BS)
Divorced November 17, 2014.
Who's that? The stronger me.
3 young kids

Posts: 336 | Registered: Aug 2013
meaniemouse
♀ 10798
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

History? The time you already have invested in this person and your life together? The promise of a better, more honest relationship in the future? The fact that divorce is expensive, unsettling, hurtful to a lot of people besides the couple? That working together to save a relationship might be very rewarding?

Even though it wasn't right in my situation that doesn't stop me from thinking about how my life would be different if we could have made it work. The big family house that would be full of people at the holidays and would one day be full of grandchildren. The opportunity to sit next to my children's father at their graduations, weddings, and other big events. The security that comes from knowing that there's someone who knows most everything about you and hopefully has learned to have your back and keep your heart safe.

And if that isn't enough--trust me, the process of deciding--to date, or not to date, to get serious or not, to sleep with someone, to think about combining finances and families--that is certainly something to think about.

Is that enough???


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2140 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Angel177
♀ 37274
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you meanie mouse. Everything you said is what keeps me going..sometimes I need help remembering.

I do love my husband....i think that makes it harder. This weekend my pain has felt very raw again...it hasn't felt like that in a long time.


Me:BS
Him:WH
D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
Daughter-3
Son-13 months (died July 2, 2014)
Baby #3 due Feb. 2015
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"

Posts: 252 | Registered: Oct 2012
iwillNOT
♀ 40605
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to be able to tell my kids and myself I did everything I could, if it doesn't work out. I do love him and if he can sort out his crap and I can heal, I feel we could be happy. History, children, and shared ties to family, community, work, friends. the knowledge that humans do, in fact, make wrong choices, and do have the ability to improve themselves. The knowledge that if I divorce, I will still have to heal from the affair, alone; and then recover from divorce, too. The possibility of a better future. My kids, my kids, my kids.

I believe it is possible for people to work through this, to heal, to be better. I just don't know if it is possible for us. But I am willing to find out.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 514 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
sailorgirl
♀ 38162
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His deep remorse.

His humility, honesty, and willingness to be vulnerable to me.

His affection and passion for me.


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
OldCow18
♀ 39670
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My kids.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

all the sacrifices he made before his affairs. Presenty, I don't want to disrupt my good life. I'm trying to determine if I can stay in a relationship where i don't respect him enough that a partner should and forgive myself for staying.
I'm tired of being affected negatively by this. A divorce would affect me negatively.
Living day to day is saving my sanity


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5538 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 9

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