Even though it wasn't right in my situation that doesn't stop me from thinking about how my life would be different if we could have made it work. The big family house that would be full of people at the holidays and would one day be full of grandchildren. The opportunity to sit next to my children's father at their graduations, weddings, and other big events. The security that comes from knowing that there's someone who knows most everything about you and hopefully has learned to have your back and keep your heart safe.
And if that isn't enough--trust me, the process of deciding--to date, or not to date, to get serious or not, to sleep with someone, to think about combining finances and families--that is certainly something to think about.
Is that enough???
I do love my husband....i think that makes it harder. This weekend my pain has felt very raw again...it hasn't felt like that in a long time.
I believe it is possible for people to work through this, to heal, to be better. I just don't know if it is possible for us. But I am willing to find out.
His humility, honesty, and willingness to be vulnerable to me.
His affection and passion for me.