"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

Gottagetthrough posted 11/17/2013 17:35 PM

Hmmm... just saw a few places where my MIL has started calling her son-in-law "son". Specifically, she has been giving money to church for flowers and to have Masses said for his mom who died several years ago.

In the bulletin it says "Flowers in memory of Jane Smith, from Sue Jones and son"

I'm pretty sure my husband has not been giving money in memory of his brother-in-law's mom...

My husband is MIL's only son. Would you get upset if you saw in the church bulletin that your mom was referring to your sister's husband as her son?

Seems, weird...

FWIW, that brother in law is very well off and sent MIL to Europe for her birthday and helped her buy a new car. My WH (her real son) asked her for rent money a few months ago

persevere posted 11/17/2013 19:05 PM

In the bulletin it says "Flowers in memory of Jane Smith, from Sue Jones and son"

It sounds like there are other examples, but in the one you provided, if Jane is BIL's mom, it seems reasonable that it would say "son" meaning Jane's son.

Does the reference bother your husband? Does she refer to you as "daughter"? Unless it's a clearly one sided thing, I don't think it would bother me. (Though on second read, sounds like he's earned some favoritism...lol)

UnexpectedSong posted 11/17/2013 19:06 PM

I don't think it's weird. I call my sisters-in-law my 'sisters'. So maybe I'm weird.

GabyBaby posted 11/17/2013 19:17 PM

I call my brothers- and sisters-in-law "brother" or "sister". I also call my MIL and FIL "Mom" and "Dad".

It isn't odd to me either.

lost_in_toronto posted 11/17/2013 19:24 PM

I call my SIL my sisters, and my dad refers to my WS as his son. My grandmother always called my mother her daughter.

So not strange in my family.

In the bulletin you quoted, it could be a badly worded way of saying Jane Smith's son - but perhaps there are other examples that make the meaning clear.

Dark Inertia posted 11/17/2013 22:42 PM

Yeah, I think it is very common to refer to son/ daughter in law as just "son" or "daughter"... Especially if they are close

Gottagetthrough posted 11/18/2013 03:05 AM

hmmm... you might be right about the poorly worded thing...

JanaGreen posted 11/18/2013 08:52 AM

My MIL does this. I think it is a little weird but not bizarre.

Threnody posted 11/18/2013 08:54 AM

My father-in-law introduces me as his daughter. And then Mr. T toddles up and kisses me or something similarly intimate, at which point FIL says, "... and here is my son, Mr. T., her husband."

The eyebrows shoot up and the people stare and if I'm feeling spunky I bring out the redneck accent and say, "It sure is awful nice to meet y'all." If I'm not feeling spunky, I pray for a hole to open up in the floor and swallow me.

It is not comfortable. I do not like it. I don't care if my children's spouses hung the moon, I will not put them in this same position.