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Topic: MiL calls her son-in-law her 'son'

Gottagetthrough
27325
Member # 27325

Posted: 5:35 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013

Hmmm... just saw a few places where my MIL has started calling her son-in-law "son". Specifically, she has been giving money to church for flowers and to have Masses said for his mom who died several years ago.

In the bulletin it says "Flowers in memory of Jane Smith, from Sue Jones and son"

I'm pretty sure my husband has not been giving money in memory of his brother-in-law's mom...

My husband is MIL's only son. Would you get upset if you saw in the church bulletin that your mom was referring to your sister's husband as her son?

Seems, weird...

FWIW, that brother in law is very well off and sent MIL to Europe for her birthday and helped her buy a new car. My WH (her real son) asked her for rent money a few months ago

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Jan 2010

persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468

Posted: 7:05 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013

In the bulletin it says "Flowers in memory of Jane Smith, from Sue Jones and son"

It sounds like there are other examples, but in the one you provided, if Jane is BIL's mom, it seems reasonable that it would say "son" meaning Jane's son.

Does the reference bother your husband? Does she refer to you as "daughter"? Unless it's a clearly one sided thing, I don't think it would bother me. (Though on second read, sounds like he's earned some favoritism...lol)

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4780 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas

UnexpectedSong
♀ 21761
Member # 21761

Posted: 7:06 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013

I don't think it's weird. I call my sisters-in-law my 'sisters'. So maybe I'm weird.

WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6154 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California

GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928

Posted: 7:17 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013

I call my brothers- and sisters-in-law "brother" or "sister". I also call my MIL and FIL "Mom" and "Dad".

It isn't odd to me either.

Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

XWH#1 (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

DD(21), DS(19, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids - 3 dogs, 2 cats

I edit often for clarity/typos.

Posts: 6887 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California

lost_in_toronto
♀ 25395
Member # 25395

Posted: 7:24 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013

I call my SIL my sisters, and my dad refers to my WS as his son. My grandmother always called my mother her daughter.

So not strange in my family.

In the bulletin you quoted, it could be a badly worded way of saying Jane Smith's son - but perhaps there are other examples that make the meaning clear.

Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1731 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore

Dark Inertia
30727
Member # 30727

Posted: 10:42 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013

Yeah, I think it is very common to refer to son/ daughter in law as just "son" or "daughter"... Especially if they are close

"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1431 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio

Gottagetthrough
27325
Member # 27325

Posted: 3:05 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013

hmmm... you might be right about the poorly worded thing...

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Jan 2010

JanaGreen
♀ 29341
Member # 29341

Posted: 8:52 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013

My MIL does this. I think it is a little weird but not bizarre.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 5-year-old daughter. Baby Green 2.0 expected June 2015!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 7088 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South

Threnody
♀ 1558
Member # 1558

Posted: 8:54 AM, November 18th (Monday), 2013

My father-in-law introduces me as his daughter. And then Mr. T toddles up and kisses me or something similarly intimate, at which point FIL says, "... and here is my son, Mr. T., her husband."

The eyebrows shoot up and the people stare and if I'm feeling spunky I bring out the redneck accent and say, "It sure is awful nice to meet y'all." If I'm not feeling spunky, I pray for a hole to open up in the floor and swallow me.

It is not comfortable. I do not like it. I don't care if my children's spouses hung the moon, I will not put them in this same position.

“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX

Topic Posts: 9

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