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Antiversary pity party for one

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better4me posted 11/17/2013 20:10 PM

Antiversary of DDay is today. Bothers me more than it did last year, maybe because it is Sunday and I was less distracted today than if I had been at work. Church often makes me sad too so that may have been an extra dose of the "lonelies" today. Went with my father to a College Men's basketball game this afternoon and the game and the win were exciting, but now I'm home again, and ugh. I'm just sad. Thought I'd be "further" along than this somehow, whatever that means, so using this day as a measuring stick sucks. And this feeling sucks.

And tomorrow will be better, things are always better in the daylight. And tomorrow the 3rd antiversary will be in the past . And even knowing this still, I'm just feeling really . Going to bed early makes sense. Some days I just want to shout FML, you know??

inconnu posted 11/17/2013 20:44 PM

(((b4me))) tomorrow will be better. this day will be over, you'll have made it through it.

you are further than it feels like. right now you have echoes of the past washing over you, but that's all they are, echoes.

persevere posted 11/17/2013 21:19 PM

I'm right behind you - January 11th is my 3rd anti-V of DDay - but it does seem to get a bit easier each year - not EASY, but easier.

((Hugs)) Thinking of you today b4m - and just be proud of you - you made it through it and you're living a better life every day.

FaithFool posted 11/17/2013 22:08 PM

Year 3 was tough. Year 5 is better. You will get there.

better4me posted 11/18/2013 11:53 AM

Thank you for your support. It helped. Before I went to bed I signed and "glitterized" some SI Christmas card exchange cards. It is hard to be grumpy when you are signing cards and writing notes of appreciation and holiday greetings. Good therapy. It is sunny today, and my mood has lightened. Maybe rather than looking at Nov. 17th as the ending of something, I can practice looking at November 18 as the start of the next year of my NB, kind of like my birthday, my "re-birth day"??

cmego posted 11/18/2013 12:49 PM


Jrazz posted 11/18/2013 12:51 PM

Thanks for the reminder to keep working on my cards!

Big hugs to you.


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