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New Beginnings :
Antiversary pity party for one

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 better4me (original poster member #30341) posted at 2:10 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Antiversary of DDay is today. Bothers me more than it did last year, maybe because it is Sunday and I was less distracted today than if I had been at work. Church often makes me sad too so that may have been an extra dose of the "lonelies" today. Went with my father to a College Men's basketball game this afternoon and the game and the win were exciting, but now I'm home again, and ugh. I'm just sad. Thought I'd be "further" along than this somehow, whatever that means, so using this day as a measuring stick sucks. And this feeling sucks.

And tomorrow will be better, things are always better in the daylight. And tomorrow the 3rd antiversary will be in the past . And even knowing this still, I'm just feeling really . Going to bed early makes sense. Some days I just want to shout FML, you know??

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6565449
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 2:44 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

(((b4me))) tomorrow will be better. this day will be over, you'll have made it through it.

you are further than it feels like. right now you have echoes of the past washing over you, but that's all they are, echoes.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6565485
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 3:19 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

I'm right behind you - January 11th is my 3rd anti-V of DDay - but it does seem to get a bit easier each year - not EASY, but easier.

((Hugs)) Thinking of you today b4m - and just be proud of you - you made it through it and you're living a better life every day.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6565517
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 4:08 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Year 3 was tough. Year 5 is better. You will get there.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6565554
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 better4me (original poster member #30341) posted at 5:53 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Thank you for your support. It helped. Before I went to bed I signed and "glitterized" some SI Christmas card exchange cards. It is hard to be grumpy when you are signing cards and writing notes of appreciation and holiday greetings. Good therapy. It is sunny today, and my mood has lightened. Maybe rather than looking at Nov. 17th as the ending of something, I can practice looking at November 18 as the start of the next year of my NB, kind of like my birthday, my "re-birth day"??

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6566146
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 6:49 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

(((((better4me)))))

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6566236
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:51 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Thanks for the reminder to keep working on my cards!

Big hugs to you.

(((Better4me)))

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6566239
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