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Blackhair (original poster member #39451) posted at 7:55 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013
Our SA is finalized in Oct. That is my choice and the only choice I have.
So we are separated. But life is not pretty at this point. Weekend is always the most difficult one for me with three young children.
XWH is in a Philippine again now to be with OW, he is going again three weeks for Christmas and New Year. Vs I am scared to think about the holidays!
He doesn't care about the kids, he asked me to bring my five years old daughter with him, I said no, no chance. Especially with typhoon and many death there, absolutely No.
But why it still bothered me so much what he is doing???? My 5 year old daughter kept on telling me it is OW's BD, it breaks my heart to hear that. I told her OW took daddy away from us.
I even went OLD and met this nice gentleman, but it did not help either...... I do not know what I want, sometimes I wish I did not pushed him to finalize the SA....so confused and lost! Tears.....The shit is so hard!
I am just so sad and lonely I guess. So when the pain is going to end?!
Hugs needed please!
M: 10 years both late 40s.
3 Children
DDay: April 2013
Legally separated on Oct 2013.
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 8:02 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2013
You're not alone, Blackhair.
Sending big hugs.
(((Blackhair)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 12:55 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013
I'm not sure the pain ever really stops, it just becomes background noise as you heal. It isn't quick and it isn't linear, it is a roller coaster of emotions. Best thing you can do is make some new friends and focus on YOUR life. Figure out who you are. Focus on what makes you happy. Second guessing your decision is very normal too.
((Blackhair))
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 1:01 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013
(((blackhair)))
There are many things draining energy from your life. Dealing with your new found separation and then raising a 5 yr old and infant twins is very demanding. I would take cmego's suggestion to try and make some new friends. Maybe check around to see if there is a twins group or multiples group that deals with raising twins. You might find their support and experience valuable.
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 3:35 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013
(((blackhair)))
The dreaded word "time" is the only answer to the question of when the pain is going to end. Your pain is so very fresh and so very raw, you need to be gentle with yourself right now. The first holidays alone are the the hardest--the "first" of anything is very scary.
I even went OLD and met this nice gentleman, but it did not help either...
Said very gently--It is too soon. Dating isn't designed to "help" us heal, we need to do our healing before we start to date.
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
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