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Divorce/Separation :
Dad of the year vent.

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 ninebark (original poster member #24534) posted at 1:35 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

I have to vent a little here.

I feel bad because I know I don't have things that terrible. I have an ex that pays his CS regularly, who makes visitations and who is pretty civil.

However I was so irritated with him yesterday I could have spit nails.

We were at DS' basketball game. I was watching with great excitement. DS was playing the game of his life, stealing the ball, getting baskets, making foul shots. It was the best game he ever had. I could barely breath watching him.

Then I hear EXH in the background talking to one of the parents. They were talking about all the sports DS does and Ex was talking about how he has progressed...etc. I was livid. EXH has been to maybe 2 baseball games, none of the Paddling regattas in the summer, a couple of martial arts classes (none of the tests) and this is his first basketball game.

I am the partent who drove him to all those events, week after week. I am the one who volunteered my time as team manager, who listened to DS talk about all his wins and losses, all his love of sports. He acts like he is this great father who is there to support his son and has shown all this interest in him. He puts on this show like he is the reason DS has done so well.

ARRGGGHHH! I had to bite my tounge. It is so stupid but it just made me so mad. LIke he is taking credit for something that he never participated in.

To make things worse I can hear him everytime DS had the ball yelling "take a shot DS, don't stand there take a shot." I had to clench my teeth. He is always focusing on the negative, never supportive. DS just single handedly doubled the points of the game, he was a beast and all EX can focus on is the one time he can't make a proper shot. He has the nerve to cheer on the other kids and treat them so great but he is so critical of his own son.

*sigh* I am sorry about the long post but it makes me mad when he puts on his father of the year show and everyone buys into it. I'm not looking for credit or accoldaides, I just hate it when people pose as something they are clearly not.

Okay vent done. I will move on.

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

posts: 630   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6565771
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Helen of Troy ( member #26419) posted at 1:50 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Unfortunately this sounds familiar.

X fucktard will criticize my parenting but never helps out. Anything undesirable that happens with them I am to blame. Anything good they do he tries to swoop in to take the credit; yet never once helping with transportation or even attending any of their events!

I wish some large person with muscles would intimidate him so badly that he pissed his pants. Maybe then he would stop being such a arrogant dishonest piece of shit bully.

posts: 4809   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2009
id 6565781
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 2:39 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

You and your son know the truth.

Some of the other parents suspect the truth because they see you and not the ex.

I know it sucks, but broken people act broken.

Thank goodness you son has you! And tell him congrats on the great game.

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6565826
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 ninebark (original poster member #24534) posted at 2:45 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

He puts on such a great facade. It is like that with everything. He comes off as funny and outgoing, everyone loves him, he is so wonderful.

I wish they could see what lies beneath all that crap.

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

posts: 630   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6565841
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monarchwings ( member #39891) posted at 3:00 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Are these parents who are normally there too? If so they probably know the truth that he is blowing smoke up his own ass to self inflate his ego. Regular participating parents know who comes and who does not. Try and laugh at the image of him having a tube from his mouth to his other hole... Those parents were probably silently rolling their eyes. More importantly your son *knows* who is the healthy parent and who is broken...

What a douche...

posts: 213   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 6565864
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Lola2kids ( member #32789) posted at 6:14 PM on Monday, November 18th, 2013

Oh yes, all this sounds very familiar (if he would attend any of their activities at all) he just brags about his kids.

Hugs ninebark.

Like everyone else says, the regular parents know that he is never there and that he is full of shit.

My DD's teacher didn't even blink that I was the only one attending the parent/teacher meeting. He doesn't even try to make his own appointment with the teacher.

He puts on such a great facade. It is like that with everything. He comes off as funny and outgoing, everyone loves him, he is so wonderful.

^^^Yep. This describes X and my estranged father as well.

BS: (Me) 48
Kids: twins DD(11)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved an ocean away June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

posts: 1813   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6566182
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