Snapcap, you are just a few days out from D-Day. You are still in shock, life as you knew it imploded.
Please stop worrying about what *you* will do, and concentrate on her actions, which will speak volumes.
I think in the beginning many of us take the blame for their actions, but your WW is a grown woman who made the choice to cheat. Period.
You can be proactive in finding ways to improve yourself/the marriage, but frankly, the burden of healing at this early date is all on her.
It will take YEARS for you to truly see the changes in her, not one or two days of her acting like the good wife. She has to do alot of deep digging and soul-searching. Is she in IC, a GOOD IC?
You are putting way too much pressure on yourself. It has only been days, healing from infidelity takes YEARS.
Have you read all the articles for newbies in this Just Found Out forum? Scroll down a page or two or three and find the threads with the target icon on the left-hand side.
Don't make any hasty decisions, give yourself time to process this destruction. You have just boarded this long and painful emotional roller coaster, buckle up because it is going to be a long ride of ups and downs.
I wonder if/when the rage, the pain, the emotions will all come exploding out in a way that I'll make the mistake, that I'll ruin chances of R, that I'll do something truly wrong.
^^The emotions will come, and you must let them out. You will NOT be doing anything wrong, I think most of us here experienced rage that we never, ever knew was inside of us.
Be kind to yourself in the meantime, focus on things you enjoy to remove yourself from these thoughts, even just for a bit of time daily.