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Just another vent about a trigger. Don't need advice...just need to throw my hurt out into the cosmos.

We are in A season (which started in October). I remember when I still had no clue what was going on and on a day like today (warm and sunny) that WH and the two oldest raked leaves. They were only 6 and 3 and the baby was only a month old. I remember that we were weary about letting the kids help because middle DD could throw a tantrum like nobody's business. But you know what? It was an amazing time. They helped WH and there wasnt a tear shed. They stayed on task the entire time and were laughing and having fun. I was sitting on the porch watching and holding the baby. It was one of those moments where I was just thinking how much I loved my life and my family. How other people might think we were crazy to be young with 3 kids but knowing this is what made me happy. I didn't need to party and travel the world. I had my family. Or so I thought. He was in the A that day. I looked outside this morning and saw that the tree in our front yard had lost a lot of leaves and that te yard needs to be raked. It just brought back all those memories. Just a few weeks later I had thougt he was getting home early the day before Thanksgiving and that he'd pick up the oldest from school. Instead he told me he'd be late and went out to lunch with OW. I had to take our two month old out in the rain because he wanted to have lunch with her instead. I just don't get it. I just don't get having such a great time with your children and the love for them not stopping you from destroying your family. When they say I love you and snuggle up in your arms, I don't get how the feeling of I will protect you from all harm doesn't overwhelm you. I'm sure the moment he got inside that day he was texting OW. I love my children so much. It hurts so much to know how little they meant during that time.

I know exactly how you feel. Last night when tucking my 8 YO DD into bed I looked up and saw a softball sitting on her shelf, I don't know how I didn't notice it until now, although I know she recently re-organized her shelves. That softball was the game ball she had proudly received from WH (her coach) 5 days before d-day. It was a great game, she played well and was so excited to finally get the game ball. Earlier that day he was "effing" OW at work before the game. When he arrived on the field that night he kissed me like he always did. The day before he sexted her from home all day and night saying the most unimaginable things. So this game ball, dated 6.3.13 is going to stare me in the face every night when I tuck her in. Something she is so proud of but something that will slap me hard in the face each and ever time I see it.

His A is everywhere, and sadly there is no exterminator for this kind of infestation.

[This message edited by OldCow18 at 9:32 AM, November 18th (Monday)]

I know what you mean. November is when the A started and was in full swing. Thanksgiving my WH was completely distant and focusing on the horse-faced whore-bag, texted her secretly. November 29th was the day i got out of work a little early and surprised him at his building (waiting outside for him) and shocked him as i later found out I almost caught them holding hands.

I hate the whore bag OW and hope she chokes on a turkey bone.

[This message edited by heartbroken2012 at 9:40 AM, November 18th (Monday)]

I hate the whore bag OW and hope she chokes on a turkey bone.

Ditto.

This time of year is affair season for me too. ((TCD))

Yep, same month here too.
We had just moved into our first home a few weeks before.
I remember him being distant and not helping, actually, he was a complete asswhole by the time Thanksgiving came around. By Christmas, I couldn't do anything right. I was a controlling b!%ch because I actually wanted him to help me buy HIS kids Christmas gifts.
Oh, and I didn't appreciate him, this said after cooking for 2.5 hours and serving him his meal.
Honey, I'm so sorry for you. Mine is a STBXH. Sometimes I wonder if it is better that we only had false R for about 6 weeks.
Bless you. Prayers and hugs to you!