[This message edited by tootrusting13 at 9:18 PM, November 18th (Monday)]
I want to R but need a willing partner to do so
You can't make her be a willing partner. You CAN set boundaries and takes steps to start healing yourself. Sometimes this opens a WS's eyes, sometimes it doesn't.
You don't have to decide on anything permanent either way right now. Right now, healing yourself is priority.
Read up on the 180 (in the healing library, upper left corner link).
I'm so sorry tootrusting13. She's just adding insult to injury with her blaming you for her choices, her unkind words and her lack of remorse .