It's my first post in this forum, but I think this is where we are headed. The affairs are enough to kill our M, but there's so much more. I know understand whst people mean when they say it wasnt the actual A that led to D. The issues thatbled to the As are what will cause our D, not the A itsekf.
We've been going to MC and him IC but he doesn't quite get it all yet... Wants to get I think, but isn't there. He's handled me being away poorly- no contact with OW, but drinking and not using the time wisely and constructively.
He only knows rug sweeping, so I know he's trying and this is hard, but I can't be the only one fully committed to his, my and our recovery. I have given this relationship everything I could offer for ten years... I can't wait any longer for him to get it. I can't take any more of " I am sorry, I am trying, I screwed up". I have no room left for it. I think part of him still thinks this will be fixed easy. I am worried about him making poor choices for himself. I can't, and won't, enable and sit by and let him.
I still don't think he's be honest about all the A. I didn't ask for names (other than the LTA abd an out if town ONS i fugured out who and he confirmed) because he said no one I know, no one he's in touch with. But I have no reason to believe that and every reason not too. I wonder how much else about him (non A-related) I don't know.
I am exhausted, scared, sad, and confused. I am tired of picking up the pieces and holding everything together. I wish I didn't love him so much. I wish I didn't want to help him. I wish I could fix him. While he's doing work, he's not all in. I can't be in at all if he's not all in.
I am lining up a place for when I am back from my work trip. He has an idea, but I don't think he believes I'll follow through.
How the hell do you get through this whole? How do you know the right decisions?
I told him today space is good and I don't think he's being real yet. I am done asking questions... If he decides to be real, maybe I will listen. It is just do hard to see someone you love making poor decisions and going down a bad path...but I can't control him.