5 months and 11 days ago I would have told you that we had it all. Had he made a different choice, loved me enough, loved himself enough, loved our family enough, we could have had it all forever, instead we are now destroyed, never to return to that happy family again. I hear my kids playing downstairs and laughing and I can only think of the pain they will feel when we have to tell them that all these months of fighting are ending in what they fear the most. My 8YO DD is going to be devastated. She's been trying to get us to stop fighting. She hears us at night when she is supposed to be asleep. She knows so much more than she should. Talk about heartbreak. We've failed her and she does not deserve this.
He was my best friend back then, my person. My favorite person. And now I don't know who the hell he is, I don't know who the hell he's ever been. I've been duped. To say the cost of his "fun" is immense is the biggest understatement of the century. I'm so sad.
You will do this. You will make it through in a year you will be amazed at how much better your life is. You and your dd will be happy strong women. You feel broken now but guess what when you heal and come back together those scars make you stronger.
Hang in there sister you will be ok. Deep breaths. Be strong.
I'm sorry you're so sad. I'm sorry this happened to you. It is so not fair.
Hang in there, you can do this.
We've failed her and she does not deserve this.
You have not failed your daughter, your husband has. None of this is on you. On the contrary you have been the one trying the hardest for your children and their future. Eventually, if he still can't get his head out of his butt and you do decide to divorce their father it will always have been with their best interests at heart. Please don't carry the blame that is rightfully his to bear. You are a good mum to your children and you have not failed them.
Our DDays are one apart. We've been walking this path the last 5 odd months together and my heart is breaking for you. You're in my prayers. May you have strength and enough moments of peace to get you through this.
Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.
Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.
Sins, I agree that he has failed, but in engaging in the fighting since d-day that DD has overheard, I have failed too. I should have protected her, and DS better from what was happening. And DS6 is such a sweet little man, 2 weeks ago he heard me crying and he was so freaking cute telling me that I'm pretty and that daddy should buy me flowers. Breaks my heart that he is in this position as well.
Thank you everyone who has posted, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have your support and mostly UNDERSTANDING.
I can totally relate with suddenly not recognizing my STBXH. He's like a stranger. A stranger I was with for almost 14 years.
DS 5, DD 3
Slowly working through the world's longest and slowest divorce