I have written about my DD18 many times before. Most recently she stole several times from me, and she was asked to move out after blatantly disregarding my requests for actions to replace the items, show remorse and retribution. (This is after beginning her stealing career at 13)
Since moving out she has done nothing to repair the situation or restore the relationship. But, i did discover she had stolen an expensive piece of jewelry, which she returned after saying "I forgot about that". And she has not tried to talk with me since moving out, except once to ask me for money.
However, 6 months ago I bought plane tickets for both DD's and I to travel to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. DD18 has a ticket.
Today she texts me and starts with "please text me the details of the flight" Remember we haven't spoken for 6 weeks when I said our relationship is up to you. It got worse from that point on including tons of manipulation techniques such as shaming, blameshifting, diverting, character assination, word salad, bullying etc. after I kept bringing the conversation back toward the thefts, her attitude , and her lack of respect for me or her grandparents.
I tell you it felt horrible that my precious kids views me as a monster that is out to get her. I also know her horrid attitude toward me will ruin the trip for all of us.
I can't understand how DD even wants to go after the thefts and now after this rude exchange.
My question is how do I tell this kid she is not going in language that is protective for me.
I feel sick to my stomach, but i know after typing this out what I need to do.
PS: My parents want to see her and want me to say, "If you (DD18) pay the fee to change the date of the flight we would love to see you on your own.
What about that idea?
[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 6:56 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]