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Oh god oh god. I just got a text message from a mututal friend inviting us out to the annual thanksgiving party and I confessed he and I are no longer together. We decided awhile ago that if you don't know yet the issues we've been havinv it means we didn't need you to know. So I simply said we had issues we couldn't work out. I am now hyperventilating, nauseous and full blown anxiety attack. Oh god please help me through this.

Your relationship issues are your business. You don't answer to anyone.

I think what you said to your mutual friend was great. No further information necessary.

Strength to you.

I let him know that she knows which means ALL our friends from college now know we are broken up. I feel sick, I think its just one more confirmation. They know we don't share our problems they are the once or twice a year friends that we hung out with for old times sake. None of them are the ones we would ever turn to but they knew us when we first met....we were the couple that would make it. For fucksake make this attack stop...heart racing, tears pouring.

I am sorry you are going through this difficult moment. It is only a moment. Like all others it will pass. I hope that when it does you will be kinder and gentler to yourself. You said something beautiful about yourself:

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

I truly believe that. What our friends think about us is of no importance. They have their own lives they must carry and there is no need to judge them either. What we feel and think about ourselves is what matters. Please be good to yourself. Peace and goodwill to you.

((((Unagie))))

I'm sorry. I think what you said was just fine. Doesn't make it any easier that you have confirmed it and that everyone knows now. But your response was perfect. And that's all you need to say on the matter. Your relationship is your business.

we were the couple that would make it

I hate that line. Nothing in life is certain. Don't let other people's views or beliefs on you or your relationship trouble you. My sister and I were talking this week and she made the statement, "I always thought that you were the perfect one. You never did anything wrong." HA! Right! Let me fill you in on the last 10 years Honey. She saw the Facebook version of my life. She only saw the best parts of me. Didn't mean it was my real life. I just hid the real me, the real issues. They weren't on prominent display for the general public. My sister made an assumption about me and was grossly mistaken.

This will pass Unagie. I promise. Cry, scream, and howl if you need to. Then pick yourself up, brush off the dust, and march on.

(((Unagie)))