After 4 years of TT, regret and false R (feels like 11 years of false M, to me). Having the whole truth is... weird. I've learned the difference between real remorse and guilty regret. He's different than he has been for all the years I have known him. This makes me a little sad. I told him yesterday on our "talk date" that our marriage is over. THAT marriage. We can't rebuild it... it wasn't good, I don't want to rebuild a bad marriage. We have to start over, and build a new, real marriage. This is very weird to me. I DON'T have the urge to search is net history, or hide with this phone... is it because I finally believe him?
I would also like to share that I have made it two weeks since d-day without lighting a cigarette, or taking a drink, despite having both in the house.