His actions make me feel guilty for my lack of action.
Dday was five months ago.
Fromday one He follows my lead. If I want to talk the entire night, he will. If I want to scream at him for two hours, he will take it. If I want to ignore him, he will give me space. In generally, we talk every night. It sometimes evolves into me raging at him. If we have a lot of tough nights he will ask if we can have a night off soon. He does not get defensive. If I push him, he can get angry, but realizes it quickly and lets it dissapate.
He sends me texts and almost a letter a day. He tells me his schedule and if he has any meetings with women alone. He changes his hours so we can eat together as a family. hes reduced his travel schedule. At home, he is helping around the house and after the kids go to bed he wait to see how I want to approach the night.
They used to work together, but he has switched teams. That was a requirement for R. He switched mid-august and we began R in October. Only rarely is he on an email that they both are on. He will forward me any communicants that they are included on. This is about once a week. He hasn't seen her for over a month, but knows NC mand he must let me know as soon as he can. their supervisors know, so i dont think she is eager to make contact either. There are two caferterias. normally she isnt in his, but one day she was and he ignored her and took his lunch back to his desk. He has transition to the thought that it was the worst choice of his life, so he hates being reminded of it. He wants her to leave.
He's never fought me on any of my requests. One night I made him type out everything he was sorry for because I was tired of hearing him say "I'm sorry about everything" I said type what "everything" is. He did, I have pages of apologies of even the little stuff he did, like walk out of his way to go past her office.
He surrendered immediately and started working with me, but since they worked together he couldn't step back and see how it was killing me. Once he switched roles, I would say it took about two weeks for him to really get it. That was about 2.5 months in. After seeing the switch in him, IMHO I cannot see how anyone could move forward if the are still working together. If they are on a team, it cannot be stricly professional 24/7 anything can be said like "is it still raining?" and short conversation would start. Hell no. But how can you prevent everyday statements? He said it would be torture to have to see her and be reminded of how pathetic they both were.
He's perfect now, just I can't unsee him.
(On ipad so lots of typos)
Eta. Fully transparent. I have all password and access to everything. I required it, but I can't say I even look at it anymore unless I am bored. I haven't had any suspicions or gut feelings that he is doing anything other than what he is saying.
[This message edited by ILINIA at 12:18 PM, November 20th (Wednesday)]