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My X...same as he used to be. ... Co D growth for me

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hexed posted 11/20/2013 12:16 PM

oh X....you just don't change.

My X and I have a friendly agreement to communicate/help if old debts rear their ugly head which they have from time to time. I filed bankruptcy in 2009 and included everything I could think of but still some things crop up.

Earlier this year one company filed suit against my X. He never responded and basically never dealt with it except to let me know and ask me what it was. I told him. Well back last summer they garnished his paycheck for some portion of a default judgement they got.

A few days ago, I got a series of irate texts b/c he has quit his job and same company had garnished his check again

1. He identified the amount owed as the actual amount of his gross pay for the final check.
2. Then somehow interpretted the max amount that they could withhold for garnishment as the amount being garnished. (despite a note from his payroll group with the specific amount being withheld)
3. Flipped out on me b/c it must be my fault that he owed some HUGE amount.
4. Freaked out b/c he had just quit his job and this happened. (not my fault you suddenly decided to quit a job you've had for 13 years)
5. He hates to deal with this stuff and why can't I just do it.(nevermind that I have 2 jobs)
6. the total amount owing is $130 not the $8K he orginially flipped out over.
7. He kept apologizing for getting mad and then would wind himself up again.

I was proud of myself.

1. I calmly said if it was mine I would reimburse him
2. properly read the legal docs and in 2 minutes figured it out.
3. calmly informed him that I understand he's frustrated but venting needs to be saved for OW. Its no longer my role to listen to him when he's upset.
4. Quit responding when the situation was addressed.

Yep...D was clearly for the best.


TG got cranky with me over something small. I can see what made him cranky but it wasn't really anything big. He thought about it and apologized a short while later b/c he considered it from my perspective and understood. THAT is the difference between my X and my SO....emotional maturity.

ajsmom posted 11/20/2013 13:03 PM

Win!

They do make things interesting, don't they?


AJ's MOM

SBB posted 11/20/2013 15:08 PM

3. calmly informed him that I understand he's frustrated but venting needs to be saved for OW. Its no longer my role to listen to him when he's upset.

Amen. Amen to all of it.

THAT is the difference between my X and my SO....emotional maturity.

You're in there too - don't forget your own emotional maturity. It takes one person to be sick but two to pass the sickness back and forth.

I'm proud of you hexed!

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