1. Anger at me, calling me names, mostly crazy, saying I am crazy when I call him on it.
2. Sorrow, or it seems, because I threaten to leave him.
3. Tries to do what I ask to make me forget, listen to a sermon tape, or read a spiritual book
This cycle has been repeated over and over. I caught him again recently.
Time before last he was on Adult Friend Finder. Is this a dating site? Would men use this "just to look?" Or is it, "just to hook?"
This last time, I tried to dig up why he was on Friend Finder, no response, claims he has no idea what it is.
I have children that love their father. He is basically a good man, but I can't take this porn stuff. He lives a double life.
[This message edited by lieshurt at 2:25 PM, November 20th (Wednesday)]
Anger at me, calling me names, mostly crazy, saying I am crazy when I call him on it.
He is basically a good man
While standard members are limited, there's plenty of free amateur porn that they can see. A standard member can see the disgusting photos, blogs, etc. I'm not sure as far as communicating goes, but I am under the impression that you can exchange emails without buying a membership.
They've clamped down on this. You can't watch the videos, send emails or view profiles as a standard member. However, if somebody sends you an email, then you can respond to it.
Please get tested for STD's immediately. Those beautiful children need their mom to be healthy..and if he is on AFF, your health is in danger.
Im so sorry.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Don't confront him again until after you know what he is doing.
So sorry you are here.
married 18 years, 2 kids: 13 DD, 14 DS
Reconciled & happy
He is definitely up to no good. Do yourself a favor and look into getting a key logger for his computer ASAP, set up an appointment and get STD tested and go into snoop mode. If you can meet with an attorney and god out what your rights are, his responsibilities are and how things might play out should you need to file.
Read in the healing library over on the left column. Keep posting, and remember this and repeat it often.
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU DID NOTHING TO CAUSE THIS. YOU ARE STRONG SMART AND CAPABLE. YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS.
And no, he is not basically a good man. He may have been once, but when he decided to cheat you, lie, and try to get sex outside of his marriage, he no longer was a good man. And good fathers don't model this type of behavior in front of their children. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012