From my own experience, I'd say this is definitely "not it." Nine months in is actually very early for most of us. At 9 months, I was still reeling and trying to process all the moving parts. At that point I was still certain that I wanted R, but I really doubted that the pain would ever lessen, or that trust in any form could be restored. I was also just beginning to hit my rage stage. I had been angry since Dday, but the overriding emotions were disbelief, fear, shock, confusion, and soul-searing pain.
Near the 1 year mark, and throughout year 2,the roller coaster really started to move. The pain was somewhat less, but the anger was much more. I also had confusing thoughts of if I really loved him enough to continue R, or if D would help me heal faster or bring me greater peace. I remember also going through a stage of numbness around this same time. And, like you, I had many thoughts of him getting away with it while my kids and I suffered so much. I truly didn't know at some points where I wanted to head, let alone how to get there.
I got through it by continuing in IC and MC for both of us and by refusing to rush to "feel better." I was encouraged by our therapist to simply do my best to stay in the present without giving up working with the past. I understood that indifference wasn't a death knell for us, but was more likely a sign that I was just exhausted and in need of a second wind. I worked on recognizing the positives and the progress we had made. We refused to rugsweep, and questions and emotions were allowed to be honestly expressed. My H continued to work on himself and made significant changes in his thinking and behaviors. He consistently stayed supportive, genuinely apologetic, and transparent. He did make a few missteps, but nothing like broken NC. I worked on managing my thoughts and emotions and their expression, as well as finding interests that made me feel alive and competent again.
All those things were invaluable, but time really was among the most necessary components of rebuilding our M. Year 3 was when we began to feel solid in our R. All the changes were becoming our new patterns, and we found ourselves in a really good place. The hard work and hurtful memories were not over, but the doubts and huge emotional swings were. We were finally happy again.