SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So, this was a very long, drawn-out divorce because EX was not cooperative with discovery. I also had to repeatedly have my lawyer involved to get EX to control himself around the kids. This divorce has cost me a lot of money.

A lot.

More than a lot.

Like a year's salary for some people.

We are petitioning that EX pay my attorney fees because I am still unemployed and still owe attorney a massive amount of money.

Who here petitioned to have their EX pay their attorney fees, and how successful were you? OR, did your EX petition to have you pay their attorney fees, and how successful were they?

(((NatureGirl))

I don't have any experience in this matter, just want to say I understand having an uncooperative SAWH. $75k and counting for me because I am not divorced yet!

I am sure you will get some good advice here.

Stbxww is doing it to me so ill let you know

Despite me being a SAHM for 9 yrs and only working part time at the time of the trial, the judge didn't think he should have to pay any of my lawyer fees.

I was adamant that I didn't want to pursue spousal support. My lawyer explained that it would cover her fees. I went with it and settled for a lump sum that more than covered the fees.

I have also spent a disgusting amount of money on this stupid crap. Probably more than I make in a year. Definitely enough to pay for college for at east one kid.

I asked for (and so did he) attorney fees. Neither one of us got them- both ordered to pay our own.

[This message edited by PurpleRose at 6:51 PM, November 20th (Wednesday)]

I got awarded the attorney's fees that I still owed my attorney after my contempt hearing. He owed me money, he lost, so he had to pay. I did not get reimbursed for the couple grand I'd already paid the lawyer though.

I'm in a unique situation, but maybe it will help.

We have a covenant marriage. In a nutshell, it's a fault divorce. The court will NOT grant him legal separation or divorce because I did nothing wrong. He is the one that had the LTA and the one that abandoned me. But he cannot D or LS from me. Period.

However, I can D or LS from him. Since he is the one "claiming" he wants a D, I used that as leverage. I told him, the attorneys, everybody (in the beginning anyway) that I wanted to R and him and I go to counseling, blah blah blah.

I used the fact that he couldn't D me as my leverage for him to pay my fees. All of my fees.

It doesn't hurt to ask for attorney's fees. Be willing to negotiate to half if necessary. Half is better than none, but always ask for more up front!

I'm so sorry he had done all this craziness to you! I hate reading about stories like yours. Hope he gets everything in life that he deserves.

My friend had to pay her own fees, but then filed bankrupcy. She paid out the fees to her atty thru the bankruptcy.

We petitioned for atty fees, in the hopes that the slightest risk of paying double (his and mine) would knock some sense into him. I suspect it had something to do with why he settled at the last minute before we were issued a trial date. That settlement had each of us paying our own atty. fees, but I did ask for and get a small IRA which balanced out the money I laid out.

I'm not done yet, but the judge has already held him in contempt and ordered him to pay $12,000 towards my attorney fees for the Discovery process.

Haven't seen a penny and don't expect to, unfortunately.

My divorce so far has been $80k and we're not even at trial yet.

NPD and SA.

I remember my attorney telling me that my ex would be liable for most of the fees because he made more. She actually had a legal term for what it's called, but I can't remember. Maybe this is just a state by state thing. We had some joint savings that the Gnat said I could just take to pay the fees. We were fortunate and were able to agree on most everything out of court, so my attorney fees were minimal.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's bad enough that these assholes lie and cheat, but then to make the divorce difficult and rack up huge attorney fees on top of it. That is disgusting.

He told people when we separated that he would destroy me financially. He's succeeded. I still think I got the better position, though, and that is sole legal & physical custody of the children. However, I understand why my attorney is filing this paperwork to request EX pay my legal fees. I pay a small amount each month, but at this rate it will be a cold day in hell before I'm done paying it off.

I'm asking for attorney fees and I'm pretty sure I'll get them paid by shitforbrains.

I'd like to see where you live when you say you did/did not get fees because I believe that makes a very big difference. While seperated and living in our Boston home an attorney there told me to not divorce and to just hope he does kill himself with drugs because I'd get nothing from him in MA.

When I decided I wanted to go back to NH to live rather than the city it was the best choice I could have made! I had no idea that the laws differ so much from state to state! After another six months of hell I finally went to an attorney here and decided if I have to be penniless to get out of the crazy it would be worth it.

WELL. I am not only looking forward to spousal support but all court fees, attorney fees and he was locked up from July until this past Monday! Because of course he didn't have to do what the court ordered!

I know I haven't posted much recently and I'm dying to tell the tale of the jailhouse chronicles but it's so FN convoluted I'd have to hurt my brain to get it all straight. But to give you an idea of how much he learned while locked up in a rural jailhouse, he has already overdrawn our joint account. He's run through nearly $1,500 in the last week.

So, include your states if it's not going to compromise your anonyminity (sp?) The difference is astonishing to me.

Love you guys....

I live in CA and my divorce was just granted a few months ago. In our initial temp. support hearing, my attorney asked for $5000 for her fees and it was granted by the judge. I fully expected (in 2009) that our divorce would be done within a year. However, fucktard decided he didn't have to follow the rules and we went back and forth to court for the next 4 years. My final hearing was in Sept. and the judge ordered ALL my attorneys fees paid due to him lying, not complying with discovery (twice) and other issues he chose to ignore. His attorney bill was $18,000 and mine was $11,000 on top of the initial $5,000 he paid.

The judge, after hearing from my attorney and her showing documentation of all of the times we had to come to court because of him, granted this for me. I hope you have an attorney who will fight for you and provide the court with a clear evidence as to why your fees should be paid-- mine did and it paid off for me.

good luck!

(edited for spelling )

[This message edited by KLinNoCA at 7:31 PM, November 23rd (Saturday)]