Today was the day I had to go back regarding cs/ss modification due to STBXH loss of job.
It did not go well for me emotionally. Financially ok.
The judge I normally have was gone, so we got sent to a different judge. Same as before, no time, go figure it out. I told the judge that we didn't come to agreement last time, we wouldn't this time either.
Go out to "confer" with other lawyer. She repeatedly says that it is just one month, of course they also want to add costs of travel etc. Anyway I say no. She asks me to stop yelling, and I say I have raised my voice because you are deaf and can't hear anything. She says she can hear me, she has a hearing aid.
She then goes back to STBXH and begins to say loudly how could he be married to me. Was it like this the whole time. No negotiation at all! He said oh yea, all he did was work all the time. Then he yells that I should get a job! AND how much longer before the divorce papers will be done. I proceeded to walk over to them and say that I was not going to listen to all the bad mouthing of me and that I would be leaving.
We are the last people in the court, after noon. Everyone is pissy because they like to get out at noon. The judge was "impressed and gave kudos" to STBXH for getting a job within a month.
When I tried telling the judge all the side jobs STBXH probably did during the time he was unemployed, she did not care. (I had proof from Craigslist he was advertising). She said he could pay a lesser amount for the one month, but then we had to prorate everything exactly (my request) because I do not trust STBXH to pay what is owed.
When judge asked about the time spent between father/mother and son, I explained I had him 100% of the time, even though his lawyer keeps putting down 95% with 5% to STBXH. When I explain this, his lawyer proceeds to say how I have alienated his son, how STBXH would like to spend more time with him, but DS is attached to me. yada yada yada. The judge was already not happy with me so I just kept my mouth shut. But it hurt. I am not alienating my son, his father did that by what he has done.
In the end, $ is the same except for the 1 month. STBXH does not get to reduce it because he now rents a room in a different location for the week. (when we were married he worked in the same town and would come home every day).
Also another lawyer stepped in and helped STBXH's lawyer. I made a snide comment (shouldn't have) that I didn't realize we now had do-counsel. I did give that lawyer a lot of dirty looks. I am sitting there with no lawyer and STBXH has 2!!!!!
After the proceedings I said to STBXH I would like to sit down with him now and figure out exactly when I was going to get $. He said yes, then he said no, then he said yes. His lawyer wanted to sit in also. I said that I wanted to talk directly to STBXH and for her to keep her mouth shut because of her bad mouthing me as a wife. Lawyer left and I have dates/$ when I will receive everything.
So I am still ok financially, but my feelings got hurt badly. For 2 years I have kept my mouth shut and never said the pain/hurt/anger/hell I feel. Everyone else gets to say how horrible I am, but I just have to keep my mouth shut.
STBXH does not like to be alone. And he is back where he grew up. So I wonder if he is going out every night and just how long before he starts fooling around on OW#3. He also said OW#3 is not working right now. Wonder if that is the truth?
Today proved I am not healed, still very raw. And that one of my biggest hopes is that STBXH and OW#3 are not happy. I truly have hate in my heart for people that should not matter to me at all.
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen