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newlysingle posted 11/21/2013 01:02 AM

So the Gnat graced me with his presence by sending me our December custody schedule. I should explain that he travels extensively for work, so we have to do our schedule month to month. We try for one weeknight and every other weekend, but some months that doesn't work. He may do two weekends in a row, or two weeknights, etc.

So everything looked fine, except Christmas. In our divorce decree we decided that this year, I would have the kids Christmas Eve/Christmas morning and then he would have them the rest of the day. He even asked me about it a week or so ago to clarify that that was the arrangement. I assured him it was. So, I get the schedule, and he says he's "away" until his flight comes in at 5 pm on Christmas day. Then he would like to pick up the kids and spend "Christmas" with them.

Okay, so first of all, by the time he gets luggage and gets to my house it will be 6:30 if all goes well. DS goes to bed at 7. Also, because I was going to be kidless I was asked to attend a formal dinner party at a friend's house that evening. I was really looking forward to it. Of course I don't mind having my children, but do you think he could have run his vacation plans past me first!!! I know damn well that he is flying out to HK's family to celebrate redneck Christmas with her white trash family. I told him to forget it and that I had other plans and would just have to bring the kids with me. He could see them after Christmas.

I'm a flexible person and willing to work with him, but this is so typical. He goes and makes plans and doesn't even bother to run it past me first. I am taking the kids to a north pole thing out of town one weekend in December. I told him in July...JULY!!! I knew the holidays would get busy and wanted it on his calendar so he could plan around it. What planet do I live on that I thought I would be extended the same courtesy? I know I can't expect any more from him than his usual selfish and disrespectful ways, but it's still annoying. Now I have to see if I can bring my kids to the dinner. I think they're might be a kid or two there, but not sure.

The sad thing is that the kids lose out by not getting to see their own dad on Christmas.

stronger08 posted 11/21/2013 03:20 AM

Stick to your guns and follow the agreement. If he cant make time on his schedule, too fucking bad for him. Also do yourself a big favor and keep a record of all of this stuff. If his schedule prevents him from seeing the kids often it can and does effect your CS payments. Its also a great piece of evidence should you find yourself in court with him.

newlysingle posted 11/21/2013 09:21 AM

Trust me, I do keep tabs on all of this. I started documenting his visitation last spring. Unfortunately, it won't help much with CS because he is already paying an amount higher than he should be. He agreed to do that, so I won't get more out of him even if I had the kids full time. I do keep it however, in case I ever want to move away or something. Just to show a judge he's not the parent he claims to be.

StillLivin posted 11/21/2013 11:05 AM

He is making your case for fully custody easier and easier.
He does this crap to get you worked up. You know it.
Mr. Integrity is doing the same crap with emails. I shut him down. I'm smarter than him and don't feed into his crap.
You are 10X smarter than the Gnat too. Recognize what he is doing.
I'm sorry your plans may have to change. He is an asshat too! Is there someone that can watch them for a few hours while you still go to your formal dinner party?
If I were closer to you, I'd say send them over and go have a blast!