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until I meet with my lawyer and get some clarity on what the next weeks/months might look like. I waver on whether I would like to make his life as difficult as possible or get out as fast as I can. Not that I even know what either of those would be like! Both would be nice. We don't have kids or much in assets so it should be pretty straight-forward dissolution; just sort out the (somewhat staggering) debt and the (nearly equity-free) house.

((WB)) Hope it goes well today. Try to keep to the "business" at hand. Making him suffer - isn't likely to happen, and only go with "getting out as fast as [you] can - if it is based on a fair business contract. Keep to business, then come here when the injustice of it all threatens to spill out. We've btdt! (((more hugs))) and strength!

Thanks! I will totally go with what the attorney recommends. I really believe that he will suffer just because I am leaving. I only hope that when I tell him in two weeks that we can remain civil. I think he will simply to be perceived well by his friends.

My philosophy was cut and run. In 4 months I've separated everything. The change is frightening but the freedom is bliss!!

Lawyer was GREAT! Thinks I can be out by the end of January at the latest. Whoo-Hoo! The next week is going to be hard as hell, but I think I can keep it together for a few more days before I tell him I am leaving.

I am debating to call WH's newest OW on the way into our marriage counseling appt to let her know that since she is planning to visit next weekend while I'm out of town, she can help him pack his crap!

Tempting as it is to start punishing him by calling his OW or packing his crap-- don't tip your hand like that. Stay calm and get your ducks in a row before you do anything that will make him gain the upper hand.

oh yeah---I would only call her on the way into the appt next week--that's when I'm telling him that I'm leaving. I'm really torn about it: it would make civility much less likely once THAT appointment ends and it would only serve to make me feel the tiniest bit better. OTOH, she would know that I know about her, their plan to hook up that weekend, AND that he has been in MC with me.

(((WeepingBuddhist))) So sorry to hear about what is happening. I was so hoping things would work out for you and your WH. Sounds to me like you have things under control. Good for you! Sending best wishes for a brighter future.

Thanks! I had hoped so as well. If I hadn't seen his texts with this new chick, I would never have guessed. I feel so incredibly lucky. I found out before he hooked up with her, I have tremendous support from my friends, and a good plan. I think that Thanksgiving is going to be really nice, even though that may sound weird. I'm glad that we're going to have a good holiday together with friends filling our house one last time. The 16 years we had a good marriage deserve that.