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Newest Member: crazyhorse27 (60763)

User Topic: Dr. Phil today - 11/21 - Midlife Marriage Meltdown
♀ 9742
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The topic of midlife infidelity is on Dr. Phil today, for anyone who is interested.


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.
Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.

Posts: 3001 | Registered: Feb 2006
♀ 28156
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will watch. thanks

a trigger yesterday

Posts: 2901 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
♀ 35624
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious if anyone watched and if it's good?

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 1033 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
looking forward
♀ 25238
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, he had the midlife crisis, had an affair. Wife had a revenge affair and is still active with it. Husband wants her back; she's torn between the two.
The best part was the last 15 minutes: Dr. Phil's advice. It's worth watching just for that part.
Basically (Judy Judy hates that word ...watching her show right now), the marriage is not over until all emotions are resolved. He wants them to have intensive counselling for at least 90 days, wife is to have no contact with OM (who, if he is meant to be with her, will honour the break in the relationship). Then come to a decision. She is more than willing to try the counselling with her husband.
Typical affair behaviour.....she is enamoured, the giddiness, etc. Husband regrets his affair, was a "mistake" and wants her back....
The programme is repeated here tomorrow morning; I just felt too triggery to watch the beginning today.
Quote from the Dr. Phil website:
Judy says that last year, her husband, Danny, suffered a midlife crisis that destroyed their 30-year-long “picture perfect” marriage. She says that out of nowhere, Danny asked for a divorce and then moved out, started an affair — and told her to move on with her life. Ten months later, she says she finally did, with a new man, Lawrence, who Judy confides made her "knees buckle" the first time they met. But now, Danny’s back and says he made a huge mistake — and he’s willing to do anything to win Judy back and fix their relationship. Judy says she’s torn between her husband and her new boyfriend — and she wants Dr. Phil to help her make decision. Can Judy and Danny’s marriage be saved — or is it time to move on? You may be surprised by what Dr. Phil thinks!

Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow. Together more than 49 years.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 3227 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

..both W and I watched this show.

..sounded typical of so many stories here on SI

..WH became cold and detached.. was with other women.

..his wife felt, after 10 months of his total detachment that she would try O>L>D>, met lawrence,, spent the week with him

..WH finds out and does complete turn-around.. wants his M and family back, says his new love and desire for wife is 10x what it was and is willing to give her anything for a second chance

..she doesn't trust him anymore and worries that his about-face is only because another man has now shown great interest in his wife.

Dr. Phil's analogy of the old dog with a bone that he hasn't chewed on for months suddenly sees another dog go for it, suddenly has a need to reclaim his bone.

..wife is afraid that as soon as Lawrence is out of the picture, WH will go back to ignoring his wife of 33 years.

..Dr. Phil is sending them to MC.

rather stereotypical MLC story I thought.


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 70
Her 66
Married 45 yrs (together 49)
18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer.
. died from a brain tumor@57

Posts: 4925 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Ontario Canada
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I watched it and found it interesting especially the wife. She is still in shock that her husband of 33 years could do this to her. I think she is attracted to the other man because she wants to feel wanted. She doesn't understand how her husband could have done this. A thought held by a lot of us. It will be interesting to see if they do an update show on them

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What very few bits and pieces I saw was very interesting to me.

Yes, the wife was truly shocked. She said, and husband agreed, they had a very connected marriage. He adored the ground she walked on. They took a bath together Every. Single. Day. He made sure he kissed her every day.

He had left and moved out. He told her to move on with her life, that he had moved on and she needed to, also. So, after 10 months of him asking/telling her he wanted a divorce she starts dating from an online dating site.

This can get to be a heated discussion here on when and if you are separated and heading for divorce should you date. I don't blame the wife for "moving on". For me, it would be way too soon and I agree with Dr. Phil about finishing up your "emotions" from your marriage/relationship before starting a new one.

I'll have to look in the show's archive to watch the whole show because I found it very interesting that they both agree their marriage was "picture perfect".

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13103 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Darkness Falls
♀ 27879
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't watch the show, but after reading this thread I have it set to DVR on re-run tomorrow.

My question is, is this "Lawrence" really an OM if she started dating him 10 months after her H had moved out and filed for divorce?

My XH started "dating" my xBFF probably within 10 days of me moving out after discovering my A. I don't consider her his "OW."

I will be interested to watch this episode tomorrow.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 8:38 PM, November 21st (Thursday)]

WS, 5-month EA/PA '09-'10

Divorced from (2010) and remarried to (2014) XBH

1 1/2-year-old daughter and another baby girl on the way

Posts: 4312 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Central Florida
Topic Posts: 8

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