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In the first hours of screaming, crying and reeling from the revelation that my 64 year old H chose, drove 2 1/2 hours to meet,and paid to have sex w/ a 20 year old prostitute, he said to me "aren't you glad that it wasn't a REAL affair in which I loved or had emotional attachment"?

OMG - they are just so friggin STUPID!!!!!
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

Oh yes Gotmegood, you should be so happy

(((HUGS))) from me, too.

and I would like to tell your WH...Sorry, Buddy, you are still 64 years old. Screwing a 20 year old slut does not make you young again. Over the past year or so, my WH kept telling me how old he was getting, white hair, aches and pains..blah, blah, blah. Guess he was hoping his slut was the fountain of youth for him.

Of all the pathetic scenarios on SI, this has to be the worst (I am sorry to say...). What did he think she saw in him? "I knew she loved me because she didn't charge me as much as the others..." (?). What a sad old man... I am really sorry you are here and going through this, and wish you all the strength you need.

He was minimizing for his comfort and lack of responsibility.

Not to add to you pain, but I would imagine if she is contacting him this wasn't a one off. He needs to be honest and "get" how truly horrible his dong this was.

It is an awful blow when infidelity is discovered. It will take time (2-5 years) to recover. You may forgive, but you will never forget. He needs to understand how greatly he has damaged your relationship, rocked your sense of security and risked your health.

Take care.

Not to add to you pain, but I would imagine if she is contacting him this wasn't a one off.

I completely agree. Prostitutes don’t continue to write someone, unless he overpaid, was very easy to get rid of, or she has zero clients. Why would she keep chasing a 64 year old? I think there is more to the story – more visits, more communication, something.

It’s very rare that a WS comes clean the first time. You were told in August. Have you learned more since then? Have you asked, or have you just assumed he was being truthful?

I think it would have been great to respond with:

I'm so happy I could shit a rainbow. Oh by the way, while you made that drive I threw all your stuff in the yard, and changed the locks. You should be happy to know that your choices make me no longer love you.

HAHAHAHAHA Idiot.

Of course I suspect that he is lying about the 1x experience with the 20 yr old prostitute, and mainly BECAUSE she texted him to solicit another visit.
But let's see.....he's a lying cheater and she's a maladjusted, low-skilled , law breaker.....so who's going to tell me the truth? I've asked and asked and asked and that's all he is willing to cop to. Plus, he told me he couldn't even get hard enough for her to put the condom on, so all she could do was blow him. Mr E.D. Imagine the prostitute laughing at that ?
Problem is my heart is broken. My self esteem is in the toilet (where they belong, not me). And I am struggling to smile at anything.
Thank all for responding. This site has been immensely helpful.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID excuse for a man!

Sorry, that just makes me livid, I am often quite calm!

I'm so sorry but you should NOT feel bad about yourself AT ALL.
Quite clearly your WH has a problem. He thinks he is right. He is not. He is a fool.
And his foolishness will leave him a sad and lonely old man.
Be strong, you've done nothing to deserve such revolting and reprehensible treatment.

Look after yourself and 180 for you. It works, it helps and you will feel good about yourself.

Focus is now on YOU

Hugs (((((Gotmegood))))))

That is like saying, after having your knees broken with a baseball bat, "Aren't you GLAD I didn't stab you in the back?"

..

WHAT NEXT????

..maybe he'll be saying: "Aren't you glad she game me the senior citizen's discount?"..

..he was, no doubt, pretending he was back in High school..

..as we've said here a million times.. fantasyland at Disneyworld..

((((((Gmg)))))

smy

Interestingly, most of my *mind movies* had featured my H (64) and the 20 yr old prostitute and my reactions were jealousy....she's so young!!!, and resulting feelings of inadequacy about me and my body. After reading your responses I see him in the movie for the sad, pathetic fool that he is. Thank you for that, I guess. Better than beating myself up.