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With another, unexpected, visit from the overseas sperm donor looming, I can't get this image out of my head. I saw it on Post Secret a few weeks ago. I know some of you can relate (Nature_Girl).

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ztMT_KWpiF0/UnV5mhtRLwI/AAAAAAAAZ3o/J7Zx1J-A8sU/s1600/10die.jpg

I am so tempted to send this to my asshole X. But he has had 2 heart attacks since he left, so he may not find the amusement in it

Yikes!

If I EVER find out STBXH acted out on our DD16.....

Nope, I better not post that. Could be used to prove premeditation.

Griefstricken, I just read your story in your profile and, WOW! I have a theory as to why your xh takes less of an interest in your daughter - it's because he knows he's sick. He's afraid of getting too close to her because he knows one day she'll fit the profile and deep down inside he's terrified of that. He's terrified of himself. I think that's why he didn't protest you moving a world away from him because he knows he's sick and he doesn't want his sickness to impact you and your children anymore than it already has. The best thing he could have done for you and your children was to walk away, or actually, allow you and the kids to walk very far away from him.
If at all possible, see to it that your daughter is never left alone with him during one of his "unexpected visits." He cannot be trusted with her and even HE knows that much. If you can have your legal custody modified so that your daughter - no matter how old she is - can decline visitation, that would be ideal.

She might have been alone with him already. I'd never know. I do know this past summer, OW brought DD3 into their bed when DD woke up one night. I was so, so sick about that. I cannot keep her from him UNLESS he actually offends. And since he has zero criminal record and the only thing I can prove is the adult pornography and kinky stuff, courts don't care, because that's "consensual." I cannot prove that he still is into kiddie stuff. It's just a thought in the back of my head and courts don't act on thoughts in mother's heads.

All I can do is tell my kids over and over and over what is appropriate touch and what is not and that they always, always tell me if someone touches them they shouldn't. I had strict rules that they were NOT to sleep with any adult on their trip in the summer. But a 3 year old isn't going to argue with adults she trusts.

This upcoming visit is very suspicious and WXH is acting very, very odd about it in his emails with me. I'm very, very nervous that he may be moving back here, in which case he'd see the kids a few times a year, instead of once every 2 or 3. That just can't happen. It just can't.