She might have been alone with him already. I'd never know. I do know this past summer, OW brought DD3 into their bed when DD woke up one night. I was so, so sick about that. I cannot keep her from him UNLESS he actually offends. And since he has zero criminal record and the only thing I can prove is the adult pornography and kinky stuff, courts don't care, because that's "consensual." I cannot prove that he still is into kiddie stuff. It's just a thought in the back of my head and courts don't act on thoughts in mother's heads.
All I can do is tell my kids over and over and over what is appropriate touch and what is not and that they always, always tell me if someone touches them they shouldn't. I had strict rules that they were NOT to sleep with any adult on their trip in the summer. But a 3 year old isn't going to argue with adults she trusts.
This upcoming visit is very suspicious and WXH is acting very, very odd about it in his emails with me. I'm very, very nervous that he may be moving back here, in which case he'd see the kids a few times a year, instead of once every 2 or 3. That just can't happen. It just can't.