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Four years ago today...

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traditoperanni posted 11/21/2013 15:03 PM

is when I innocently opened Pandora's box (my fwh's email) and my world came crashing down. Four years ago today is when I sat at the computer dumbfounded and unable to breathe and blinking my eyes thinking I must have read this wrong. Four years ago today when the pain began and hasn't ended. Four years ago today where
I found out my wh wasn't who I thought he was after all these years!
Four years ago today my life changed in a flash. Trying to go through the holidays without screaming was a real challenge.
It's a difficult trigger day. Even though things are better, we are in MC and wh is in counseling and(SA program) he is trying very hard, but it took almost 2 years to get the whole truth.
So, anyway, just feeling down and a little sorry for myself.

jjsr posted 11/21/2013 15:20 PM

I don't think you should be down on yourself. Look how far both of you have come in the last 4 years and the work you both have done. I know the day isn't easy but be proud of yourself and your FWH

Skan posted 11/21/2013 18:14 PM

(((hugs))) It's OK to feel down at times but if things are otherwise going well, try to remember those good things also to balance out. Lord knows, we all get tired of carrying the burden! I'm glad that you came here for some support.

looking forward posted 11/21/2013 18:23 PM

That's why it's called the roller coaster.
Sorry you are feeling down; focus on the positive.
BTW....it took 22 years for my H to learn the truth

Alex CR posted 11/21/2013 18:45 PM

Four years ago and you've come so far....learned so much about yourself........learned how strong you are........

We can't change the past and we can't predict the future but we sure can make today count .....and that's exactly what you're doing.

Be good to yourself this week.....maybe splurge doing something you've wanted...you deserve it...

traditoperanni posted 11/22/2013 00:51 AM

Thanks everyone for the positive thoughts. I'm feeling better now than I did earlier in the day. My fwh and I had a MC session today also. I did express my feelings about today. Our MC asked where did I think four yrs ago where we'd be now? I said "Divorced" . So, I guess things are better. I just wish I could give him what he wants
and that's my trust. But, that is not possible yet. He'll have to earn tthat. A lot has happened in the last four years and I am still very guarded.

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