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traditoperanni (original poster member #32660) posted at 9:03 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2013
is when I innocently opened Pandora's box (my fwh's email) and my world came crashing down. Four years ago today is when I sat at the computer dumbfounded and unable to breathe and blinking my eyes thinking I must have read this wrong. Four years ago today when the pain began and hasn't ended. Four years ago today where
I found out my wh wasn't who I thought he was after all these years!
Four years ago today my life changed in a flash. Trying to go through the holidays without screaming was a real challenge.
It's a difficult trigger day. Even though things are better, we are in MC and wh is in counseling and(SA program) he is trying very hard, but it took almost 2 years to get the whole truth.
So, anyway, just feeling down and a little sorry for myself. 
Me- BS (63)
Him-WS (63)
M- 42 yrs
dday#1 11/09, Dday #2 10/11 and many since
P.A.'s - too many to count
LTA's too many to count (one for 37 yrs)
escorts etc- way too many to count.
Broken heart- too many times to count.
R- Getting bet
jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 9:20 PM on Thursday, November 21st, 2013
I don't think you should be down on yourself. Look how far both of you have come in the last 4 years and the work you both have done. I know the day isn't easy but be proud of yourself and your FWH
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:14 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013
(((hugs))) It's OK to feel down at times but if things are otherwise going well, try to remember those good things also to balance out. Lord knows, we all get tired of carrying the burden! I'm glad that you came here for some support.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 12:23 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013
That's why it's called the roller coaster.
Sorry you are feeling down; focus on the positive.
BTW....it took 22 years for my H to learn the truth
Together more than 57 years, Married 52 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)
Alex CR ( member #27968) posted at 12:45 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013
Four years ago and you've come so far....learned so much about yourself........learned how strong you are........
We can't change the past and we can't predict the future but we sure can make today count .....and that's exactly what you're doing.
Be good to yourself this week.....maybe splurge doing something you've wanted...you deserve it...
BS Me 63
WS Him 64
Married 35
Together 41
DD 11/16/09
I can dwell in the negative or seek the positive...one road is lonely...the other teeming with life.
traditoperanni (original poster member #32660) posted at 6:51 AM on Friday, November 22nd, 2013
Thanks everyone for the positive thoughts. I'm feeling better now than I did earlier in the day. My fwh and I had a MC session today also. I did express my feelings about today. Our MC asked where did I think four yrs ago where we'd be now? I said "Divorced" . So, I guess things are better. I just wish I could give him what he wants
and that's my trust. But, that is not possible yet. He'll have to earn tthat. A lot has happened in the last four years and I am still very guarded.
Me- BS (63)
Him-WS (63)
M- 42 yrs
dday#1 11/09, Dday #2 10/11 and many since
P.A.'s - too many to count
LTA's too many to count (one for 37 yrs)
escorts etc- way too many to count.
Broken heart- too many times to count.
R- Getting bet
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