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Newest Member: bob74 (46035)

User Topic: Affair season - how bad is it?
naivewife
♀ 38375
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of A season. I feel like I'm just hitting a point where life is becoming mildly tolerable again and now I get to deal with A season reminders for the next 4 months. Just wondering how difficult it was for all of you, getting through the first A season?

Tomorrow is just the day WH first "met" (through email) OW, so things didn't get totally out of hand for a few more weeks - so I'm hoping it won't start hitting me too hard for a while.


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 342 | Registered: Feb 2013
lhhell
♀ 40332
Member # 40332
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in the same position so would love to hear the thoughts on this one as well.


Me: BS
Him: WH
Dday: Jan 4, 2013

Posts: 52 | Registered: Aug 2013
TennisTC
♀ 41330
Member # 41330
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too am in the beginning of my first anniversary of the A season. I didn't really think about it too much until a couple weeks ago when I started wondering why I was feeling so disconnected and empty. My H is doing everything right, but I still feel this way and it just sucks!! It was so much easier when I didn't feel like everyday was tainted by the A.

I too have four more months to get through. I really hope I don't feel like this the entire time, but I'm scared I will because their relationship just continued to escalate over the next four months one year ago.


Me: BW Him: WH (Both early 30's)
Married 11 years with a DD7
DDay: 2-24-13
R'ing

Posts: 167 | Registered: Nov 2013
heartbroken2012
♀ 38089
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I am in the MIDDLE of the A season, this was when it was in FULL swing, and I am triggering something horrible every day. I am incredibly sad.

I dont think my WH is being very spportive and understanding, and wants to act like nothing is wrong and imagine it never happened, and that makes it harder on me.

So I think and hope that it will go smoothly for someone who has a genuinely remorseful WS.

Good luck to us all.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 561 | Registered: Jan 2013
AML04
♀ 39682
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of the day WH realized he had feelings for OW (beyond that he liked getting naked pics from her). He confessed those feelings on 12/26 when they kissed for the first time and then consummated on 12/31. The PA continued through mid-April.

I am so tired, I have no idea how to handle this. Right now I'm almost numb but I can feel the rage/pain right below the service.

Best of luck to all of you. Hope your WS's are doing everything they can do to reassure you.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
5674emt
♀ 40012
Member # 40012
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fWH had an LTA of 3 1/2 years. There is no season for me. I do get bothered when I see any date on the photos I have that are between 2009 and 2012. It is getting better though.


BS 53
WH 44
M 14 years at time of DD
2 young daughters
DD 12-8-12
OW=Xfriend
A-3 YEARS and her husband was an accomplice.
In R, IC, & MC Since 1 week after DD. On the mend with the help of God, Friends and Family.

Posts: 89 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Central FL
AFrayedKnot
♂ 36622
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The first A season was a piece of cake for us. We really turned toward each other. We took a lot of time for us. We had planned it very well. We made a lot of great memories and had a lot if fun, date nights, weekends away, and new holiday traditions. There were a lot of highs and a lot of lows. The rollercoaster seemed more like the tilt-a-whirl

I am struggling more this year. There is less excitement and urgency to take it back. The highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low. There is just flat low level sadness that I can't kick.

So work together, express your feelings and concerns, plan stuff, get through it together. Let it be a battle that you fight together as a team.


BS 40
fWS 37 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2692 | Registered: Aug 2012
AML04
♀ 39682
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would really love that Chicho. But is it wrong that I really want him to take the initiative to make these memories better for this year? After all, he put so much effort into having his affair in the first place and I think I deserve at least that much effort. It seem so easy for him to put this behind him and focus on the here and now. I don't think that's fair.

[This message edited by AML04 at 6:54 AM, November 22nd (Friday)]


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
AFrayedKnot
♂ 36622
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For us that would have been too much to ask. I am much more of the planner. The brainstorming ideas was 50/50. But the actual making it happen was more 70/30 on me. Which was ok. I accept that it is just not her personality. Her participation in wanting to make it great meant a lot.


BS 40
fWS 37 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2692 | Registered: Aug 2012
AML04
♀ 39682
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I just feel like I'm already doing so much and since he was the one who did this, he should want to try to make it easier. Maybe I should just let go of that.

Sorry for the t/j.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 10

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