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Newest Member: cynical (47044)

User Topic: Loss of Innocence
♀ 41143
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the many things I hate about the aftermath of my story is the personal loss of innocence. From my own research and XWH's partial SA admissions and As, I know far more about sexual perversion than I care to. From STIs (formerly known as STDs), to CL, prostitution, and other hook up methods, to methods of deceiving, to personality disorders. My mind is filled with so much muck and disgust! I wish I could wash my brain out with bleach.

Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can completely relate to this.
XWH and I married young, but he had already been exposed to a lot of things as a child/teen (inappropriate uncle who liked to show him porn and talk about the women he was cheating with, etc). XWH was watching porn regularly before he was in high school. Unforunately, though I knew SOME of this, at 18yrs of age, I had no clue what the ramifications could be.

Fast forward a few years when watching porn no longer did it for XWH and you have the makings of my personal hell and loss of innocence.
I learned about so many disgusting things that I can never un-see.
Craigslist, Adult Friend Finder, MySpace crap, even relationships with coworkers that fall far outside the boundaries of professional. XWH used to get a kick out of calling me over to the computer to show me some disgusting piece of porn, then laugh at my reaction.

Me - 42
DD(21), DS(19, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids - 3 dogs, 2 cats

SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - F that guy.

XWH#1 (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for typos/clarity.

Posts: 7005 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
♀ 25144
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, MakingLemonade. In search of answers of how to heal from an A, we get to read all about the sordid world of adultery, perversity, and dishonesty. I know how you feel.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
♀ 40032
Member # 40032
Helpless  Posted: 9:07 PM, November 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here.

BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 34 T 36
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD, HPV, HSV-1...
MOW late 40s psycho stalker lookin to upgrade lifestyle at my expense

Posts: 708 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

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