I'm assuming so, as it appears some people here have...and I guess it's the reason why exes can sometimes be a threat.
I just feel like I'm dying an excruciatingly slow death over here. It has been over a year since he started, at minimum, an EA with a younger girl that worked for him. Then he left in early February of this year and admittedly had a short-lived PA with some other girl that was a friend of a friend. According to him, that "woke him up" and he did not feel that he was acting appropriately and he decided to come home.
Well, that's great, but I was (yay me?) amazing at the 180 / NC. I detached. Finally, this summer, my attorney said I could date if I wanted...that I was obviously ok and I would not be penalized in the divorce at that point if I sought other company. So I did. I was extremely happy and all my fears of not being wanted since I have two tiny kids went away. My self-esteem came flooding back and...so did my husband.
He's sorry. And he does seem to be trying quite hard. But it's not like he's expressing his undying love to me every minute of every day and he's currently working with the coworker (this week, out of town) that started all of this. She still works for him and I suppose it's inevitable...but at least she's leaving in March. He's being good about calling me and I truly don't feel like anything is going on (and believe me, I am the most suspicious person on the planet these days). But I also don't know how I rekindle my own feelings for him. I loved him so deeply and now? I would like to love him but I'm not sure I do. I guess, honestly, I feel like I'm done but would like some magic bullet to work things out so, at a minimum, we could be blissfully happy for the kids and stay a complete family.
The kids are fine. We don't fight in front of them. We don't really fight at all. He travels so much that I'm pretty much a single mom and I put on a happy face for my precious kids. I just don't really feel anything anymore but I guess I would like to.
Is there any hope? Sadly, I feel like I did a really good job detaching and I'm just not sure I can feel love or respect or any of the things I really need to feel for him again. Maybe it just takes time? I suppose I'll feel better after this horrible girl leaves the company. Ugh. I would also say that I think he feels like nothing he ever does will be enough to make up for everything...and he's probably right. I'm trying so hard to let it go and give him a break but I'm not sure I'm as good at that as I was at detaching.
I would love thoughts and advice! Thanks!!