BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
I agree with point. Are you reconciling? Then honesty is a two way street.
I even almost have a hard time for BS's that aren't being honest just staying to get their ducks in a row before they can get out of the marriage. It is a necessary evil, especially with an unremorseful WS, but it makes me feel uncomfortable nonetheless.
I really dislike sharing some of my feelings with FWH because I know it will be a stab to his heart. It hurts him that he hurt me. However, that is one of the reasons we became disconnected in the first place. I would often time stuff my feelings, be very co-dependent, have excuses for his bad behaviour, etc. I don't share my feelings with FWH to hurt him, it hurts me to cause him pain. No, I share because to have an authentic marriage and to be authentic selves we must be honest with our feelings.
OTOH, I am so very sorry and it is very sad that this is how you are feeling about your WS now. Understandable and sad. ((((Arais))))
d-day 3/10; LTA
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson