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R is difficult...to put it mildly. R is even more difficult if our WS TT'd, lied, abused, broke NC, etc. before they "got it" or really started making an effort. I'm sure a lot of us have felt this way when we have repeatedly told our WS our needs and went unheard. Or we share with them our pain to only be hurt in the way we just told them rips our hearts out. When we feel like we have repeated the same thing 5 million times, open ourselves up to give them another chance and try to trust...but get beat down again.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/this-new-great-big-world-christina-aguilera-song-is-great-wi?s=mobile

Very timely for me, thanks for posting.

Yes. The betrayal doesn't start and end with the actual cheating, or even lying about the cheating. It goes far beyond that. When we make ourselves vulnerable by explaining our pain, we expect reciprocation. Too many waywards, for whatever reasons, can't or won't do that, nor do they seem to truly understand us. And that just causes more pain.