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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: They make the decision, our life changes
MollyJo
♀ 18820
Member # 18820
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been close to 5 years since my Dday and XSO is long gone...

...but I woke up this morning thinking, once again, about how HIS decision to have "breakup sex" with his whore WITHOUT BIRTH CONTROL spun my life around and put it on a track I never expected and never wanted.

All my dreams, built up over years and years, evaporated in that one moment. My entire belief system--shattered. My certainty in true love and a connection beyond explanation--shown for what it was: a childish fantasy.

He'd say that his life was just as changed when I left him, that he didn't escape unscathed, that he was just as ruined by his selfish, idiotic act as I--but the truth is, he got what he always wanted: a child of his own.

And the worst part is, I had nothing to do with this at all. He would fully admit that he was extremely happy in our relationship; that he loved our goals as much as I did. HIS self-centered, shameful behavior ruined only one life--and it wasn't his.


Me: BS Him: SOB OC born 9/08. We've split up but I still see him every day and the OW occasionally. Lost my whole life because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know exactly how you feel. And it's not fair. THEY make a decision with no regard for the ripple effects.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3564 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Thefly559
♂ 40268
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 737 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Whalers11
♀ 27544
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could have written this post, as I completely understand.

My WxSO tried to tell me the same thing - his life was ruined and he screwed things up for himself just as much as for. But then in the same breath his will say how much he loves OC and that being a father is the best thing ever.

If I'm completely honest - as much as I want children and a family, I still have a very hard time picturing anyone but him as my husband/kids' father. It was always him. But he went and did that with someone else, and I am left with nothing...


Me: BGF - 33

I gave you more than I ever got back
You left me here to forget about that
All the things you thought you had have gone
Let that be a lesson to you
-Richie Kotzen, "Special"


Posts: 2325 | Registered: Feb 2010
MollyJo
♀ 18820
Member # 18820
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers--PLEASE don't let his idiocy keep you from having a family. You don't actually need a man, you know.

My GREATEST regret is that during all the years that he was gaslighting me about his LTA (and telling me that "the time wasn't right" for us to have kids, I guess because he didn't want to cheat on his cOW), I didn't just go ahead and have them on my own. By the time I realized that he was a sociopathic cheating weasel, it was too late for me tho heaven knows I tried--I was actually at home on bed rest from IVF treatments when he got his whore pregnant).

There's not one single day that goes by that it doesn't stab me in the heart that I'll never had a child of my own. Yes, I'd have preferred that the "love of my life" had been the father, but I'd take single mom over no kids any day of the week.


Me: BS Him: SOB OC born 9/08. We've split up but I still see him every day and the OW occasionally. Lost my whole life because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My GREATEST regret is that during all the years that he was gaslighting me about his LTA (and telling me that "the time wasn't right" for us to have kids, I guess because he didn't want to cheat on his cOW), I didn't just go ahead and have them on my own. By the time I realized that he was a sociopathic cheating weasel, it was too late for me tho heaven knows I tried--I was actually at home on bed rest from IVF treatments when he got his whore pregnant).

There's not one single day that goes by that it doesn't stab me in the heart that I'll never had a child of my own. Yes, I'd have preferred that the "love of my life" had been the father, but I'd take single mom over no kids any day of the week.

There ought to be a way to sue someone for denying you your right to be a parent.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10154 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
MollyJo
♀ 18820
Member # 18820
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amen to that.


Me: BS Him: SOB OC born 9/08. We've split up but I still see him every day and the OW occasionally. Lost my whole life because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Posts: 231 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 7

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