Perhaps it could even be the start of R also depending on your circumstance. Hope you are able to come to a decision and happy with it. ((((Hugs)))))
'If you come into my life, the door is open; If you leave my life, the door is open; Just one request, don'
When I was being TT'ed he convinced me that we had to immediately book and prepay our chosen hotel in Budapest since it's very popular. So we sat down and booked it with me thinking he'd been in an inappropriate texting relationship, and the very next morning: DDay.
He says he wants to R. I hate to say it, but one bit of power I had in forcing him to end it with OW was holding this trip hostage.
Now he wants to book the hotel for Vienna. This seems so far away, it's almost imaginary to me.
His lawyer has stated that all his assets will be forthcoming and there is no need for me to pay for discovery
Yeah, well unless you can know that for a fact, I would remember that HIS lawyer doesn't owe you the truth. I would speak to your own lawyer about that and about if, you don't do discovery, if there is wording that can be put in to penalize the WH if it turns out that he lied.
I'd go. Separate beds or him sleeping on the couch, but I would go and enjoy the time with the girls. Maybe split up days so one day he takes the girls sightseeing and you do your own thing and then vice versa.
I sorta had the same thing going here. Three days after I booked our tickets to go spend Thanksgiving with FWHs family on the east coast, DDay #3 happened and we went right into an in-house separation (no A, but lying and hiding things from me). I was then left with the decision of what to do about Thanksgiving.
I decided that I would go no matter if we were separated or not. I knew that there was a couch he could sleep on and if we were going to separate and divorce, I wanted a chance to say goodbye to relatives that I had had for 21+ years. And you better believe that when I told them goodbye, I was going to make sure that they knew exactly why I was leaving! But now that we're back together and working on making it again, that scenario is at least, gone.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I plan on him footing the bill for everything while we are there. Does that make me a bad person?
Nope not at all. But think hard before deciding to go for this reason alone.
HI is so beautiful. Will you be able to enjoy it going only for this purpose? Maybe you can get your own hotel room and take the girls on separate adventures. There is a lot to do in HI. Enough for both parents to be able to have fun and still split the family up.
It's so tough because travel was a shared hobby of ours. Even before I met him, I'd get the urge to travel somewhere every couple of months, even if it was just a weekend getaway. I would love to go to Vienna and Bratislava and Budapest.
But he traveled places with OW every freaking chance he got, which pisses me off. Not to mention that I trigger hard whenever he wants me to help plan for the May trip because it reminds me of planning for our last two overseas vacations while I had no idea he was unfaithful. All those emails back and forth crafting itineraries and making reservations, while all along he was texting and emailing her back and forth as well....
He's making the initial motions towards R so I have no idea how things are going to be 7 or so months out from now.
It's bizarre how WH actually shows kindness and remorse most when I'm willing to talk to him about future plans, like this trip. He withdraws whenever he thinks I'm through with him.
It's like he needs an anti-180. Attention junkie much?
We went to Europe 2 months post DDay. At the time we were mostly in the 'try to reconcile' camp.
In short, I am glad we went. Some things were difficult (tinged with sadness) for example, I could not stop myself from thinking how perfect everything would have been if we didn't now have the tainted history. Mostly though I was able to appreciate the change from the routine and I actually found myself enjoying some things very much.
Unless it would cause an increase in tension and therefore make the whole trip an unpleasant memory for you and your girls, I would go.
We went ahead with a trip with a group of friends 3 months after D-Day. We had invited another couple to stay at our timeshare, and we had a party planned for everyone. It would have made a mess if we canceled.
I got through it and FWH was very attentive. I can't say it was easy, but it wasn't terrible either.
I wish my WH would have had unemotional, meaningless sex with a stranger instead of sex/falling in love with my longtime friend!
Vegas, Jamaica, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, Aruba, New Orleans and many other places all within a year and half.
He asks me frequently to please forgive him that his life is meaningless without me.
I don't know what our future brings but I can tell you that I love him the most when we travel.
would it be lunacy to go forward with this trip?[/quote]
It is your choice. It may sound like lunacy, but I can understand why you would do it.
Just a thought to consider. In the future, will you look at this holiday as being the last time you where together as a family or the point you start to R?
I had a similar issue around Christmas where the chances were it was possibly the last time we spend Christmas together as a family.
If you decide to go, I would suggest you try to ensure your daughters remember it as a good time in their life's.
I plan on him footing the bill for everything while we are there. Does that make me a bad person? [/quote]
You are not a bad person. Just some one who is putting up some defense
