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Newest Member: JulyLady (61478)

User Topic: spontaneity
♀ 38391
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just some thoughts on this as it relates to communitcation.

Some of the biggest insights I have had into Fwh's point of view have come "accidentally", in this form.

For example, one time we were just sitting around talking and he was bemoaning the fact that his iPod was broken. He then went on to say, "I bought this for myself when we were dead broke. What a guy!"

I cannot tell you what these kinds of revelations mean to me. And I would say, especially if you are a WS, share these thoughts.

Obviously, this had occurred to me when he mentioned this. But the fact that HE brought it up meant the world.

Please. SHARE.

D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1162 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, please SHARE. I can remember for years, hating to go to dinner alone with my FWH because he just sat there and said nothing. It was agony. I'd try to carry a conversation and nothing. It got to the point I would take along a book in my purse and we'd sometimes have a meal with both of us reading at the table.

If there is one thing that I enjoy about the two of us right now, it's the fact that we can talk to each other. That is So amazing!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10056 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, November 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so agree.
There are definitely random moments when we will discuss something from our pre A M- not "discuss" really but just reminiscing and he will stop at some point and say "wow. I was a real d$ck. I'm sorry." Not the classiest way to apologize, but it's real. And I so appreciate it.
The other night we were just remembering some things and he made the comment about how I went to the gym and did yoga so I could look good for him "how awesome is that to have in a wife?" And I just started laughing- and said ,"seriously- I was an awesome wife. That's funny isn't it? I was a great wife that most men would kill for. How funny is that?"
I was laughing - probably a small hysterical mental break- and I couldn't stop. He got very quiet, took my hand and said , "no. It's not funny. Not in any way is that funny. I'm so sorry."

Just call me Wonder

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.

Divorced and super good with tha
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2- June something or other 2017

Posts: 1248 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
Topic Posts: 3

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