WS, 5-month EA/PA '09-'10
I was the WS and my XBS is the one who never brings it up, in fact never wants it brought up.
For example---if I were to send him a text, right now, apologizing for my adultery and reassuring him of my commitment to him and to "us"---he would be angry. He would be resentful that I am causing him to think of and remember something he prefers not to be reminded of.
Back when we did couples counseling when we first got back together, he stated to me and to the counselor that he has no more questions and nothing more to say regarding my affair. That, in his mind, it's done and over with.
I respect his wishes for the most part and I very rarely bring it up, even to apologize. I just wonder, can I believe that the door is closed? Is there ever a time that I will feel comfortable in not mentioning it?
BSs' opinions very welcome.
[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 12:42 PM, November 22nd (Friday)]
Divorced from and remarried to XBH