Ah sweetie, I'm so sorry.
I recently went back and re-read my journal's first couple of months. The first two weeks after DDay, there was a new disclosure/shock Every Fricking Day. EVERY Fricking DAY! I would wake up in the morning, praying that I could get through the day without learning/realizing something new and shocking, and go to bed shaking, having thrown up everything in my system. I swear that I saw a toenail go sailing into the toilet a few times due to how violently sick I got. I have Fibromylogia. Two weeks in, I went into a flareup and had to go to bed for days. I totally get your horror and disbelief.
It Will Get Better. It really will. It will get really bad, but one day, you will find that the day isn't quite as bad as the previous one, and little by little, your days will get better. That damned roller coaster does have upswings as well, but I swear, at first, down is the only direction that the damned thing goes.
(((hugs))) Keep posting here. Keep talking to us. We're here to help you.