I am so do sorry that this happened to you.
This is an all to common occurrence. Please don't be embarrassed, ashamed, or feel like you have been played. You attempted to do what a spouse that loves their partner does.
She chose to continue. She chose to cheat. She chose to lie. Now that she has been caught she's playing the I'm crazy card. Don't Fall for it. Don't believe anything she says. If you ate still willing to try to r then you need to figure out exactly what you want and need from her and be very clear and concise with her about what those things are and be ready to have consequences and carry through.
See an attorney an find out what your rights are and what her obligations are.
If OM has a wife notify her immediately. A's thrive in secrecy and die in the light of day.
Get STD tested even if you did on the original DDay. Make her get tested as well. You need to be very in her face about all of this and be very clear that you do not trust and won't for a long time and if she takes issue with that too damn bad.
You can and will make it through this and even though you don't feel like it now you will be stronger and smarter and if you take care of you properly you will be happier, with or without her.
Keep posting. Keep reading and take care of you.
(((( and strength ))))
[This message edited by tushnurse at 8:10 PM, November 22nd (Friday)]