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Divorce/Separation :
He was going to kidnap my kids

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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 6:28 AM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

The OW sent me an email telling me that my XH had kidnapped her son and he was planning to do the same with my kids. Only I didn't fall for his shit and let him have my kids.

Apparently they really did break up and he's been living with some girl. That's why he didn't want me knowing where he lived.

I'm going to the police dept in the morning. Doubt they will do anything but at least it will be reported if he tries anything. Think it's time to move somewhere else so he doesn't know where I live.

His sister works at my son's school so on Monday I will be going to both kids schools so they know what is going on.

He really is one stupid motherfucker!

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6572105
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 6:34 AM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Oh Dear God.

ETA: Is it possible for you & the kids to stay somewhere else this weekend? Anywhere? Hotel? Couch surf? Please don't be alone. If he's this psychotic, he could try to violently break into your home. I'm worried for you.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 12:35 AM, November 23rd (Saturday)]

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6572111
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 6:49 AM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

No, I don't have any where else to go right now. We're getting winter storms right now. The OW got her son back. I know where he lives now. They aren't divorced so there wasn't much she could do. They don't even have a custody agreement. If he even tries to take my kids it's kidnapping.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6572119
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betrayedfriend ( member #19785) posted at 10:40 AM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

I'm glad she told you and that you have warning now. Good God please be careful! I'm worried about you and your littles. Has xsil been staying away from your ds?

I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

posts: 1023   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2008   ·   location: Midwest USA
id 6572160
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 12:00 PM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

She's been keeping her distance. I think she's afraid of loosing her job.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6572177
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 4:04 PM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Prayers and strength being sent your way. I sure hope the cops take this seriously.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6572325
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twinkie ( member #29203) posted at 4:17 PM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Ladies and gentlemen this is why is so extremely important that we get temp orders in place!!

I am glad everything worked out for all persons!!

Twinkie

posts: 1087   ·   registered: Aug. 2nd, 2010   ·   location: Texas
id 6572338
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 4:35 PM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

I spoke to a cop. He said there isn't anything they can do until he tries something. Which I already figured, just wanted to get it on paper. I was already worried about him trying to do something like this so I have been proactive about making sure I have done everything I can to protect the kids.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6572346
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 5:34 PM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

I'm so glad your kids are safe, and have you for a mom, looking out for them.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6572386
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ChoosingHope ( member #33606) posted at 6:45 PM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Ladies and gentlemen this is why is so extremely important that we get temp orders in place!!

Well, in some circumstances this is true. Not in mine. Temp orders would have given my STBX way more time with the children, possibly putting them in harm's way. Each divorce is different.

(((Peridot))) Hang in there and stay strong. I'm so glad you at least went to the police department. Did they file any paperwork at all???

posts: 1855   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2011
id 6572431
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 7:55 AM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

They took my statement and copied that email the OW sent me. Of course, the officer said they can't do anything until he breaks the law. I figured that already though.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6572863
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 2:21 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

FTG.

Hopefully he's on notice and won't try anything stupid.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6572981
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:27 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

((((peridot & kids))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6572985
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sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 3:01 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

Does he get visitation with your kids?

Did the OW press charges? He straight up took someone else's kids. How is he not in jail?

[This message edited by sparkysable at 9:01 AM, November 24th (Sunday)]

D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

posts: 5718   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2004   ·   location: NY
id 6573014
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 3:57 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

He doesn't have visitation with my kids. He didn't take my kids. He took his kid with the OW. They are married, no divorce has been filed and there isn't a custody order. That's how he got away with taking their kid. If he were to take my kids he would go to jail because I have sole custody.

Frankly, neither one of those idiots should be parents.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6573060
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sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 8:33 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

oh OK, I thought it was the OW's kid, NOT his kid. I read that all wrong.

Good thing he doesn't get visitation. But I'd watch your back, and make sure the school or anywhere else that they might be are on high alert.

D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

posts: 5718   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2004   ·   location: NY
id 6573241
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 10:28 PM on Sunday, November 24th, 2013

His sister works at my son's school, so yeah, I'll be there Monday morning talking to the schools. Both schools already know I am the only person who is supposed to pick the kids up.

He threatened to take off with the kids to Mexico years ago so I have done everything I can to make sure that never happens.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6573311
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Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 1:11 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2013

Do the kids know to make a scene if he tries to take them?

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6573450
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 peridot (original poster member #18334) posted at 1:44 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2013

Yes, they do. When we have the stranger danger talk, I include their dad, his family and his friends. We've had extensive talks about this.

[This message edited by peridot at 7:49 PM, November 24th (Sunday)]

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6573470
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:34 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2013

(((peridot)))

You sound like you have every thing under control. I hate that you have to be on high alert.

Hang in there.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6573507
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