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Dyinghere posted 11/23/2013 19:37 PM

It has been such a bad day. Nothing new really, except I ran across a couple of old emails from him to her. But I keep feeling terrible and it all washes over me and I find myself escaping my children - running to the bathroom to cry. Is this what being triggered is?

Thefly559 posted 11/23/2013 19:47 PM

Yes. Stop torturing yourself. I do not know your story but I am sure it is like all of us here. I did that in the beginning and it was horrible. There are so many triggers even now that there is no need to read letters. But I am sorry and I know your pain well. Stay strong.

brkn_heartd posted 11/23/2013 20:22 PM

dyinghere,
Yes, that is a trigger and they suck! One thing I did so not to keep running into things like that...I printed everything off, put it in an envelop should I ever need it again and put them up. That keep me from picking the scab, but I still had them and they were protected. 4 years later and I still have the emails, but I have not looked at them in a long time.

As much as you can, try to remove the triggers. Some are impossible to do however. Take care of yourself and be patient with yourself. Healing takes a long time.

Dyinghere posted 11/24/2013 07:12 AM

I wasn't looking for them. My 10 year old has an email account that he never checks. My aunt sent me a message saying that she had sent him something. I went to his email account, and there are sent emails in his account that my husband wrote.

Really was not looking for anything. Shocked that he would use our son's email for anything related to this.

The emails were innocuous. Anyone looking at them wouldn't see anything much, but there they are nonetheless.

I do love the advice of don't torture yourself. Everything I know I have found out accidentally. I would love to stop having these awful surprises.