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Proud of DDs and living somehow in backwards world

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fraeuken posted 11/25/2013 00:19 AM

On Saturday, DD16 and DD11 learned by accident that their father = xh is planning to get engaged to OW soon and is waiting for the engagement ring to arrive. He is planning to propose to Sparkly Panties while they are on vacation in the Caribbean over Christmas.

DD16 and DD11 are mad to say it politely.

DDs were promised a vacation with their father in the Caribbean for the past year. Just him and them. Then he suggested that OW and her daughter should come along. DDs told XH 3 months ago they would not go with him if OW would join. He would not let go of it. And DDs stood their ground and rejected his offer of an all-inclusive beach resort with unlimited Virgin Pina Coladas, unlimited food, snorkeling and diving.

I am very proud of DDs that they cannot be swayed by money and superficial glitzy stuff. Instead, they opted to stay with me for all of Christmas. And here is where my world seems so backwards:

As xh is off to the Caribbean over Christmas on vacation with OW and her daughter, my DDs begged me to go to snowy, cold Minnesota to visit my ex-in-laws and spend Christmas with their 'real' family. They have been lobbying for this for weeks now. They want to see their uncles, aunts and cousins. They want to go ice skating in downtown St. Paul, want to see the Christmas display at Macy's open presents under Grandma's Christmas tree, go to dinner theater, make snow angels, go swimming at the community pool, enjoy Grandpa's homemade popcorn and snuggle with him on the couch or play games.

I often wonder if xh - who not only divorced me but his entire family in a way - ever feels lonely and if he ever realizes how he gave up real, loving, down-to-earth people for a bunch of fakes? DDs keep telling me how OW's family is all about money and how they try to impress my girls with what they own and who they are. Well, ex-inlaws are not doing bad either money-wise, but money and wealth is never a topic - homemade dinners, baking cookies, thrift store shopping with DDs, playing games and endless patience and love are.

So, I just dropped a lot of money on tickets; it's not cheap to travel these days. But I know that DDs will have a sense of normalcy and family for Christmas that they are craving. It is still really weird for me to go to ex-inlaws without xh being there and seeing our wedding pictures on the walls and sleeping in the room we used to sleep in for the past 17 years when we visited. But, I know we will have fun and there will be plenty of hugs and warmth to go around to last the girls and me for a long time.

FaithFool posted 11/25/2013 00:59 AM

That sounds like just the ticket for a wonderful Christmas. I know you'll reclaim that space as your own. It is, after all, your true family.

God love your DDs for craving what's real.

Brandon808 posted 11/25/2013 02:09 AM

Your DDs will be excited and festive and that spirit can be infectious.

aLadypilot posted 11/25/2013 18:46 PM

I think you and the girls will have a wonderful time! So glad there is a strong family connection here for you, and yes, Minnesota is a great place to celebrate the holidays.

Housefulloflove posted 11/27/2013 00:31 AM

That sounds like the making of a wonderful Christmas and you've got two wonderful young ladies! You should be very proud.

Your ex traded treasure for trash.

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