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Never clean out the cupboards!!!!
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Laura28 posted 11/25/2013 02:56 AM
Hi friends
After 3.5 years I finally could not stand it anymore.
I cleaned out all the cupboards in the children's rooms and in our room.
I have been wanting to do it for ages but everytime I started would come across something that would trigger me and had to stop.
This weekend I finally did it.
Doing our robe wasn't too bad but when I started doing the children's (they have both left home in recent years), I fell to bits.
Looking at their old and treasured toys, clothes, books, photos, memorabilia from school events, etc was too much.
I toughed it out for hours while FWH was at work and got the job done but it was heart wrenching. Tears were shed but I ploughed on and tidied up my face in time for his arrival.
When he arrived home he complimented me on what a great job I'd done but then asked about things I had in the piles to be thrown out or sent to charities.
I lost it completely. Totally broke down.
Of course I got the requisite "I'm sorry"s, "I wish I hadn't done it", "Can't believe I was so stupid" but within no time at all (maybe 15 minutes?) it was business as usual for him.
So ladies and gentlemen. Stay away from tidying the cupboards and robes. 
HUGS
Laura
[This message edited by Laura28 at 3:16 AM, November 25th (Monday)]
atsenaotie posted 11/25/2013 08:10 AM
Hi Laura,
Sorry you had such a rough time of it, but glad for you this task is finished. Your FWH is still good at compartmentalizing I guess. It seems like the WS have a brief pennance que card they pull from "I'm sorry"s, "I wish I hadn't done it", "Can't believe I was so stupid" and think then all is resolved. I had a teacher in HS who, when a person would apologize, would say "If you are sorry, change". I think many of us would prefer to see changed and empathizing WSs over sorry WSs.
SisterMilkshake posted 11/25/2013 08:47 AM
((((Laura28)))) I am so sorry that was so emotionally draining for you. 
Sorry that FWH wasn't as comforting as he could have been. The Tribe really misses you!
Lalagirl posted 11/25/2013 12:54 PM
(((((Laura)))))