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Newest Member: SeashellEyes (45764)

User Topic: I feel too good :-O
cluless
♀ 40538
Member # 40538
Happy  Posted: 3:39 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As we travel down the road of our rocky marriage, we are having more and more days of total happiness. Our MC says we've come such a long way in such a short time. So I'm concerned, is it too fast? I had 3 months of HELL, made WH tell me everything, no more lies, we worked out everything that happened. I even added what I contributed to the marriage breaking down.

Our relationship is so incredibly good. MC says you MUST go forward, and focus on our new relationship. Yes there will be down times/triggers off and on, but try to see it for what it is and try not to dwell on negatives. Before I would have told her she's crazy, but not anymore. Our marriage is so different and so good. I'm in-love with my husband and believe I can get through anything.

I hope I'm not being naive, but I'm optimistic for the first time since this whole thing started.


WH 57
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.

Status: In careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels and starti


Posts: 168 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oceanside
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is wonderful to hear.
I have been there and am cautiously optimistic about being there right now
I have also wondered if it is too fast. Today is four months for us.
But one thing I have learned in this process is take the good when You can.
Hold on to these feelings they will help you through tougher times. We are in this place and it feels great.
We have been here before and crashed- but each crash is getting smaller and a little easier to deal with.

Now we are on what I call maintenance. Keep being honest, talk when we need to talk, go out of our way to make he other feel as if they are number one.
We are still working through small issues and are REALLY focused on pre A stuff right now.
We have a lot to sort through- because most of our issues were that we always pretended like we didn't have any.
But we are in a good place to do this- ad we both have our goal in mind. If it helps is reach our goal, we talk about it.

Good luck to you and enjoy your happy :) you deserve some.


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
Trying2Survive1
♀ 40022
Member # 40022
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Enjoy! That is great to hear!

We have been here before and crashed- but each crash is getting smaller and a little easier to deal with.

So true, as we're finally able to communicate in a new way and actually discuss things as they come up in a productive manner that serves to enhance our M.


Madhatters, M 33 yrs
FWW/BS 58 BS/FWH 57
Separated 5 mos in 07.His DDay,11/07.False R since 07. My DDay,7/5/13."Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: United States
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed trying-
We are not doing back to "what it was before" because that was obviously not working.
We have learned how to listen and really hear what the other person is saying. And then we both come up with a plan for how to move forward.
Progress... It's a beautiful thing.


Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
Him- FWS
14 years- 2 middle school children
DDay- 07-24-2013
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC

Posts: 474 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
cluless
♀ 40538
Member # 40538
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for your responses. Communication is EVERYTHING! Last night, I was a little bitchy towards him, he was a little bitchy back and walked away. I felt like crying (my son had relapsed, stole our drugs and left home again), and just as I start going down the slippery slope, he came to me, and hugged me and said "what's really going on?" Before we would be mad at each other for a couple of days. Our night would have been ruined, but we ARE communicating and hearing what each other needs from the other.

I know there will be more crashes, but I'm trying like hell NOT to crash. When I think of negative stuff, I just go do something else and try not to go down again. I'm happy for all of us, and so happy to have not thrown my WH out of the house, and give myself time to sort through my emotions. It's a first for me!


WH 57
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.

Status: In careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels and starti


Posts: 168 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oceanside
Trying2Survive1
♀ 40022
Member # 40022
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before we would be mad at each other for a couple of days.

Us too! In the "old marriage" that is. I like this "new marriage" so much better, well, we both do.


Madhatters, M 33 yrs
FWW/BS 58 BS/FWH 57
Separated 5 mos in 07.His DDay,11/07.False R since 07. My DDay,7/5/13."Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: United States
painfulpast
♀ 41038
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just being optimistic is a huge victory!! Congrats


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
devasted30
♀ 39439
Member # 39439
Happy  Posted: 7:37 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 8

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