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Funny Xmas Card ideas anyone?

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sleepless34 posted 11/25/2013 17:11 PM

So, I was thinking about our yearly Xmas card as I like to get pretty creative.

This year, I was thinking of a collage of pictures of the year on one side and then a Xmas letter on the side that let's people know what has been going on. Maybe even one of STBX and his OW (stands for old whore or other woman, same dif)

Happy Holidays from the *Whoevers*
*DD1 is now 10, likes soccer and is show choir. DD2 is doing great in 3rd grade, likes dance and loves animals.
*Mom and the kids had an awesome summer traveling and we went to NYC, Cape Cod, and seeing friends and family.
* Jack surprised us all with the news of his long term affair with a swinger he met on Ashley Madison. He is "in love" with her and left the family to start a new and exciting life of integrity.
*Jack is also enjoying porn, pot, extasy, gambling and believing his own lies! Oh no, Santa is watching jack!
*He also stopped paying all the bills, and because I have no job, we have lost much of our savings and will probably have to sell the family home in the new year. But…shhhh...that is a surprise we won't tell the kids until 2014!

Wishing you a fabulous Holiday Season-

BTW- I am not actually going to send this, but I am LMAO with my friends about it….how funny would it be to send to him and make it look like I sent out 100's but really just one to him!

Okay, anyone else???

sunsetslost posted 11/25/2013 18:49 PM

My therapist complimented me on my sense of humor about the whole mess. Sometimes you just have to laugh. I send text messages with what I really want to say to STBX to my friends. They laugh, we laugh together.

"If we weren't crazy we would go insane"

Jimmy Buffett

Take2 posted 11/25/2013 18:50 PM

Ah hell - there is no topping that - sheer genuis!!

I vote you send it - will a sprinkle of coal dust, cause you know - he doesn't deserve a whole lump.

Gemini71 posted 11/25/2013 22:00 PM

Fantastic! I LOVE it! Now I need to come up with one of my own.

Since STBXH is a staunch 'churchgoing man', my friends have started calling him "Sex Flanders" It cracks me up.

ETA: STBXH even looks like Ned Flanders.

[This message edited by Gemini71 at 10:00 PM, November 25th (Monday)]

newlysingle posted 11/25/2013 22:21 PM

I love it!

SBB posted 11/25/2013 23:15 PM

Oh, my ribs.

I snorted about 'Sex Flanders'.

So much Gold.

ninebark posted 11/26/2013 09:45 AM

That was wonderful.
Sad but wonderful.

tushnurse posted 11/26/2013 10:13 AM

Bwahahahaha Sex Flanders.

Hahaha poor dumb disilusioned Jack.

I love the idea, personally I love getting those letters from relatives we never hear from except for Xmas, we spend a good time making fun of how dysfunctional they all are, and a letter like that would win a prize spot on my fridge.

I say DO IT!!!

dmari posted 11/26/2013 10:17 AM

sleepless34 posted 11/26/2013 13:40 PM

Or How about a picture of the kids and me, and then a blank space that is outlined to look like my X slumpy husband.

Happy New Year! Here is to new beginnings.

I started by getting rid of a 220 lb bag of cheating, lying, pathetic, worthless Shit that I used to call my husband!

SBB posted 11/26/2013 14:50 PM

Or maybe "Merry Christm-s" - here's to an A-hole free Christm-s now and forevermore.

Dreamboat posted 11/26/2013 15:05 PM

Maybe even one of STBX and his OW

With a caption of HO HO HO!

One year I actually bought a Ho Ho Ho card for Awhore. I ended up not sending it because I didn't want to pet the drama llama. But it sure felt good to buy it!!

PurpleBirch posted 11/26/2013 21:31 PM

I vote you send it - will a sprinkle of coal dust, cause you know - he doesn't deserve a whole lump.

I vote this ^^. Take2, the coal dust is hilarious.

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