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Newest Member: ConfidentJayne (61852)

User Topic: Petty But Pissed Off
♀ 40912
Member # 40912
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know this will sound petty to some. When my stbx left without me knowing he took all the expensive tools (about 10,000) worth, emptied the bank accounts and anything else he could grab that was worth something. he did not have time or the space to take household items like the tv or stereo. After months of threats and heartache I signed a paper to give him one of the tvs after I moved. so now Ive moved and he is demanding the tv. He could easily afford another one and I cannot. He threatened he would go to his lawyer. That's how he always handles things, threats. He will spend $ on his lawyer to get a tv that we bought at Wal-Mart. I know its just a tv. I want to piss him off. I want him to spend $ on his lawyer. Depending on who I ask I get different responses. Some say just give it to him and others say don't give in. Just want some more opinions.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: the twilight zone
♀ 37895
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I lived nearer the Twilight Zone (I live in Crazyville a few hours drive) I would come over, unscrew the back, loosen one of the zillion widgets in the back, replace the back and give it to him.

It's the take, take, take mentality. I am in exactly the same position. A little graciousness from my ex would go a long way but he doesn't have the class for that.

Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ 39362
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been going through some similar battles with my ex and I finally reached a point where my peace of mind became more important than the battle.

It's weird how mine turned into a weird greedy dude over stupid stuff just to keep me from having it. I finally realized he did it to annoy and hurt me, he didn't care or need the stuff. So I quit letting him have the satisfaction. He can keep the crap. It's just stuff, tainted with his energy.

I'd keep the tv if I needed it and fight for reimbursement for half the value of the other stuff he took.

Letting go of the smaller battles has helped me start to move forward.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 415 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex spent thousands of dollars in lawyer fees fighting me on this one certain show shovel that he wanted. I had agreed to many many things that he could take, but the snow shovel?

My lawyer was like "spend the $30, buy a new shovel, and give him this shovel", but at the time, I had no other snow shovel, and didn't have the money to splurge on having to buy myself a snow shovel, after everything else he had taken from me. I live in Buffalo, NY. I need a shovel.

So, she put in the final agreement, among the list of items that I HAD to give him from the house, she just put "shovel". I gave him a shovel all right, a garden shovel. Not the shovel he wanted.

I proudly use that shovel every winter.

I felt like he had taken every thing else from me, then he wanted the shovel too? How the hell was I supposed to shovel? He wanted the shovel to shovel the OW's driveway, where he had moved in. I wasn't having it.

The thing that worked out well for me, was that he was so focued on the stuff from the house, that he let things like custody and visitation slide. This fight for the shovel and other tools took the attention away from the fact that he gets no overnights, and the only holidays he gets is Christmas Eve until bedtime, and Father's Day.

He thought he won, when in actuality, I won.

I would not let him bully you, but if the papers say that you HAVE to give him the TV, I guess you have to do it. But I wouldn't hand it over so easily, and I wouldn't be against tampering with it either.

[This message edited by sparkysable at 9:09 AM, November 26th (Tuesday)]

BW - 40
DD - 7 years old
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 5491 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
♂ 38923
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let him spend hundreds of dollars with his lawyer to get the TV. Then, at the last possible moment you can relent and give it to him.

I'm taking some small pleasure in knowing that every letter I personally write to my CSTBXWW's lawyer is costing her money as the lawyer has an obligation to read, file, forward, post and comment to every letter. Little wins can be satisfying

You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it

Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
♀ 34517
Member # 34517
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would give the TV to the Ex because I had signed my name to the agreement.

Do you care what kind of TV you have? I think poeple are giving away old tube-style TVs for free on Craigslist, Freecycle, etc.

Me: BW (52)
ExWH: (53)
2 teen-age boys

Posts: 328 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: PA
♂ 39357
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live in Buffalo, NY. I need a shovel.
A shovel in Buffalo!? I'm your neighbor (Rochester) and I need a freakin' bulldozer to clear out my driveway!! The things these guys (and gals in some cases) do is beyond a normal-thinking person's comprehension. Be happy you're rid of them!

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 40912
Member # 40912
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks for the replies! I am happy to know that I am not the only one who feels like I do. Yes, it's only a tv but when I think back to all the stuff that he has done in the past year...I get mad all over again! Nobody deserves what he did to me and the kids. I signed the paper for him under duress because he is a bully. If the lawyers say I need to give it up obviously I will but it will cost him.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: the twilight zone
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a similar issue over a bbq pit. It was the one thing I pushed back on, and after a helluva lot of craziness, he finally gave in.

My plan if he didn't was to dismantle parts of it so it wouldn't work.

Me: BW-46
Him: XWH-46

Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

Posts: 5292 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 38458
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd give him the TV. But I'd make sure it didn't work first. Oops.. It must have somehow broken during the move from your house to his.

He would enjoy the conflict caused by fighting over the TV way more than he'll enjoy a non-working TV.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 10

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