I agree with the above suggestions..
I wish I knew of lawyers who where in my area who could advocate for me in the such a way....In about 13 years I will be 70..As does anybody in a D, I will need a lawyer(s) to protect me and my assets as if I were his/her mother..In my situation, a D will render me destitute unless I have the right lawyer and judge..
I am not a man but in this marriage I have been the protector of our family's wellbeing and I have always been THE MAIN and many times THE SOLE BREADWINNER..
I have enough pension and assets to support myself on my own but not enough to split or support another household on top of mine..
My un remorseful WH is pretending like he is a disabled cripple, but in reality he is not..
********************Alimony & Maintenance************************
In some instances a wife will ask for alimony, the court-ordered payment of money to your wife after the dissolution of marriage. If you made more money (especially if you were the primary breadwinner), there is a good chance your wife will seek alimony. The bigger the difference in earnings and the longer you were married, the larger the alimony payment will be.
Will Maintenance Be Awarded?
The general standard in most locations holds that maintenance can be awarded if the spouse lacks sufficient property, including marital property apportioned to her to provide for her reasonable needs and expenses, and is unable to support herself through appropriate employment.
Reducing Your Exposure to Maintenance:
If the divorce is not going to occur for some time, the husband should consider the following actions to reduce his exposure to alimony:
reduce the current household expenses;
LAWYERS.......if the parties have separated, establish a precedent of the wife supporting her own needs with little or no financial support from the husband;
ME.... ********(nagging my WH to find a job or he will risk me dropping him from my employer sponsored medical insurance when yearly re-enrollment comes up..Not gonna pay for a cheating man's medical..He was getting unemployment and was paying me back every month up until now)**************
reduce debt;
help get the wife a job or more education;
maximize time with the children;
LAWYERS.......investigate marital misconduct;
ME ******(BTDT, I don't know if I can use it in court, but I have it to show our sons someday if I feel the need...and I will let WH know this during negotiations )*******
LAWYERS.....don't engage in marital misconduct;
ME******(I don't, lol)*******
LAWYERS.......allow a temporary disability to improve; and
if income is trending down, it would make sense in holding off the divorce to use a lower income in calculating maintenance.
ME.. *****(this is what I am presently trying to do)*****
How Is Alimony Determined?
Generally, there are designated factors that the court has to consider in determining whether or not to order a party to pay alimony.
Courts usually consider the following when determining maintenance, though, of course, these vary by state so be sure to consult with a local, licensed attorney:
length of the marriage;
age and health of the parties;
division of property;
education level of each party at the time of the marriage and at the time the action is commenced;
earning capacity of the parties;
feasibility that the party seeking alimony/maintenance can become self-supporting at a standard of living reasonably comparable to that enjoyed during the marriage and the time needed to achieve this goal;
tax consequences to the parties;
pre-marital and post-marital agreements;
contribution of one party to the education, training or increased earning power of the other;
and any other facts as the court may determine to be relevant.
Once the court determines that a party is entitled to alimony, the court then determines how much the person should receive per month and how long he or she should receive it.
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[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:07 PM, November 29th (Friday)]