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41andthankful posted 11/26/2013 14:59 PM

My IC gave me a statistic today that 80% of people who divorce because of infidelity regret their decision. I've never seen a statistic that high. For those of you divorced a remorseful WS or not, did you regret that you did?

[This message edited by 41andthankful at 3:01 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]

lieshurt posted 11/26/2013 15:01 PM

Absolutely not. Divorcing was the best decision I could have made and I've never regretted it.

devistatedmom posted 11/26/2013 15:35 PM

MAYBE 80% of the WS regret it, but I'm betting the BS side of that is NO WAY close to that number.

Did I want a divorce? No. Do I regret it? What choice did I have? Just let him keep treating me and my kids like crap, while sleeping with skanks? Umm, no. No regret here.

7yrsflushed posted 11/26/2013 15:46 PM

I don't believe that statistic but if they asked me I most definitely do NOT regret my decision to file for D.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 3:46 PM, November 26th (Tuesday)]

GabyBaby posted 11/26/2013 15:54 PM

I only regret that I didn't do it sooner.

LadyQ posted 11/26/2013 16:01 PM

No regrets. I tried to "fix" my marriage for well over a year.

NaiveAgain posted 11/26/2013 16:14 PM

I am not sure where your IC is getting that statistic from but I don't trust it. I don't know of anyone who divorced because of infidelity that regretted it. (I am sure there are some, but I don't know any personally.)

I am done with my WS and very, very glad.

gardens64 posted 11/26/2013 16:18 PM

Yeah I can see how the WS would regret it but not 80% across the board. The BS I see here have given many chances before pulling the final trigger..

PurpleRose posted 11/26/2013 16:24 PM

I don't regret divorcing a lying cheater.

I do regret that our marriage fell apart, that he felt cheating was the right way to deal with his issues, that MC didn't help him fix what was broken... I could go on.

But I don't regret the decision to divorce him. He became a person unrecognizable to most of the people who loved him. Sure, he has found a new crop of people who support his crazy now (including family members that he thought were leeches and users but now miraculously they are besties).

Eh. Whatever. No way can that stat be true for the BS.

Nature_Girl posted 11/26/2013 16:25 PM

Someone here repeated that same statistic a year or so ago. It was as absurd then as it is now. I think there must be some bizarre cult or "marriages must be saved at all costs no matter what" class offered at certain universities.

41andthankful posted 11/26/2013 16:35 PM

Thank you all. Given what people go through after infidelity, I just couldn't imagine that high of a number regretting a decision to divorce.

Sal1995 posted 11/26/2013 17:00 PM

I'm not there yet, just seriously contemplating divorce. I hope there are no regrets if it happens. I regret that I wasn't able to be a husband that she wanted to love, honor, and cherish. That she saw me as someone that she could betray often and easily without conscience. That her horrible choices have put me in the position of having to choose her or a broken home for our children. Maybe the last part is where much of the regret comes from? That number still seems way too high.

PurpleBirch posted 11/26/2013 21:24 PM

Hmmm. I'm not divorced yet. However, I know that being separated I feel good about knowing that a) I am not being restricted anymore (social abuse), and b) that I don't have to worry about him giving me some VD because he slept with some whore without protection.

I am no fortune-teller, but I am pretty sure I will not regret a divorce between WH and myself.

phmh posted 11/26/2013 21:43 PM

No way that statistic can be true. I'd definitely ask the MC for support for that number. I'd also probably look for a different MC since this one likes to make up figures.

Every person I know in real life who has divorced a cheater has no regrets (with the possible exception of wishing they'd done it sooner.)

persevere posted 11/26/2013 22:04 PM

Absolutely not. He's done nothing to improve himself - he absolutely would have done it again, and I refuse to live my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Your IC is definitely off base. I think understanding the true affects of infidelity is difficult for IC's unless they've had experience in the area.

Vulcanized posted 11/26/2013 22:07 PM

My IC gave me a statistic today that 80% of people who divorce because of infidelity regret their decision.

Maybe that's the WS secret thoughts? Like others said, I only regret not D'ing XH sooner.

For those of you divorced a remorseful WS or not, did you regret that you did?

I don't think most of us here have a remorseful WS. If my XH had been remorseful, I'd have at least given him a chance to R the M.

trumanshow posted 11/26/2013 22:09 PM

I've read that- I remember it was 80% of those who divorce while in an affair.


So I think it's 80% of WS-which would make sense

StillCoping74 posted 11/26/2013 22:26 PM

http://www.ivillage.com/14-surprising-facts-about-marriage-affairs-divorce/4-a-283381

41andthankful posted 11/26/2013 23:00 PM

I don't think most of us here have a remorseful WS. If my XH had been remorseful, I'd have at least given him a chance to R the M.

I asked because my WH is remorseful and has made a lot of changes that are noticeable to all around him. I am glad he is getting healthy. I just don't have it in me to reconcile at the moment. Who knows if that will change, but I am on the path to divorce. There is a one year physical separation here so that won't be filed until June 2014. Thanks all for answering.

Got2GO posted 11/26/2013 23:28 PM

I'm only remorseful that I actually married him knowing that he cheated on me before we got married!_

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